Summary of “The Book of LifeThe Book of Life”

The work of two University of Denver psychologists, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver, the questionnaire asked readers to identify which of three statements most closely reflected who they were in love.
I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me.
Behind the scenes, the options refer to the three main styles of relating to others first identified by the English psychologist John Bowlby, the inventor of Attachment Theory, in the 1950s and 60s. Option A signals what is known as a secure pattern of attachment, whereby love and trust come easily.
Attachment, where one longs to be intimate with others but is continuously scared of letdown and often precipitates crises in relationships through counter-productively aggressive behaviour.
If there is one thing we should do to improve our relationships, it is to know which of the three categories we predominantly belong to – and to deploy the knowledge in love, so as to warn ourselves and others of the traps we might fall into.
We then need a little training because half of us at least are not secure in love; we belong in the camps of either the avoidant or the anxious, and we have – to complicate matters – an above average propensity to fall in love with someone from the other damaged side, thereby aggravating our insecurities and defences in the process.
Their quiet might just be quiet, not a lack of love.
Knowing whether we can be classed as secure, avoidant or anxious in love should be a basic fact we grasp about ourselves.

The orginal article.