Summary of “Is Your Emotional Intelligence Authentic, or Self-Serving?”

Plenty of research has documented manipulative misuses of emotional intelligence – the intentionally subtle regulating of one’s emotions to engineer responses from others that might not be in their best interest.
The capacity to understand and share others’ feelings creates authentic connection and deepens trust.
Being attuned to the spoken and unspoken concerns of others demonstrates an openness to their views, a willingness to engage ideas different from ours, and honors the courage of others to express divergent perspectives.
Unaware of the tension between a genuine desire to take in others’ views and a need to be right, leaders can feign listening while actually trying to lure others to their side without realizing they’re doing it.
Keenly self-aware leaders detect how others experience them, actively solicit critical feedback from others, and accurately acknowledge their strengths and shortfalls.
Genuinely self-aware leaders face that insecurity head on, and don’t put the burden of soothing it on others.
Our ability to express emotional intelligence is sometimes impaired by unacknowledged, unhealthy, emotional needs.
If you want to genuinely employ effective emotional intelligence skills, pay attention to the unaddressed scars and voids lurking beneath the surface of your inner emotional landscape.

The orginal article.