Summary of “How to Recover from Romantic Heartbreak”

Yes, time helps, as does social support, but new studies are verifying that there are all kinds of other steps we can and should take to soothe the emotional pain we feel and expedite our recovery.
The premise of the study was that to recover from heartbreak we need to diminish our feelings of love for our ex-partner.
The goal of the study was to examine three kinds of emotional regulation strategies to see which of them would help heartbroken subjects reduce their love feelings.
In the second condition they were asked to reframe their loving feelings as less problematic.
The researchers found that only negative reappraisals were truly effective in reducing love feelings.
It is those very feelings of “Unpleasantness” that make it challenging to use negative reappraisals as a way to recover from heartbreak.
As a clinician, I’ve found that there are two things we can do to minimize these feelings of unpleasantness and thus feel freer to practice negative reappraisals of our ex.
To do so, we have to assert control and consciously and willfully prevent ourselves from making mistakes that will set us back and encourage ourselves to take steps that might feel unpleasant or counter-intuitive, but that will ultimately diminish our emotional pain and expedite our recovery.

The orginal article.