Summary of “4 Ways to Control Your Emotions in Tense Moments”

They were avoidable mistakes in moments when I was unwilling or unable to manage potent negative emotions.
The ability to recognize, own, and shape your own emotions is the master skill for deepening intimacy with loved ones, magnifying influence in the workplace, and amplifying our ability to turn ideas into results.
Four practices have made an immense difference for me at important moments in my career, like this one when I faced “Dale.”.
Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.
One of the powerful practices that helps me detach from and take control of my emotions is to name the stories I tell.
Is it a victim story – one that emphasizes my virtues and absolves me of responsibility for what is happening? Is it a villain story – one that exaggerates the faults of others and attributes what’s happening to their evil motives? Is it a helpless story – one that convinces me that any healthy course of action is pointless? Naming my stories helps me see them for what they are – only one of myriad ways I can make sense of what’s happening.
Once you identify the story, you can take control by asking yourself questions that provoke you out of your victim, villain, and helpless stories.
I’ve found greater peace over the years as I’ve become aware of the primal origin of the stories I tell – and learned to challenge the perception that my safety and worth are at risk in these moments.

The orginal article.