Summary of “Get closer to the people in your life by being the best mess possible |”

It’s time to give up on chasing perfection and embrace our uniquely individual quirks and imperfections, says author Chidera Eggerue.
We humans are pretty excellent at telling other people what to do – but not so excellent at following our own advice.
Case in point: When friends and family confide they’re anxious about what to say or do at a party, most of us tell them, “Just be yourself! People will love you.”
Recent research shows everything we stand to gain from adopting this attitude.
Inspired by BrenĂ© Brown’s work on vulnerability, a study from psychology researchers at the University of Mannheim, Germany, examined the “Beautiful mess effect.” In a set of studies, they presented subjects with hypothetical fraught situations, which included confessing romantic feelings to a friend, admitting a mistake at work, and being the first to apologize after arguing with one’s partner.
After reading detailed depictions, participants assessed how they’d feel if they saw another person reveal their vulnerability in these scenarios – and how they’d feel if they were the ones revealing vulnerability.
The results: “Even when such examples of showing vulnerability might sometimes feel more like weakness from the inside, our findings indicate that, to others, these acts might look more like courage from the outside,” the researchers wrote.
By being our best possible messes, not only can we quit pursuing perfection, we can also build greater trust and closeness in our personal and professional relationships.

The orginal article.