Summary of “Want to Raise Mentally Strong Kids? Do These 3 Things”

Sometimes, parents are quick to say things like, “Quit worrying” or, “It’ll turn out fine,” when kids express concerns.
Most parents never teach kids how to develop healthier self-talk.
A child who initially thinks, “I’ll never be able to pass math class,” can learn to reframe his negative thinking by telling himself, “I can improve my math grade by studying hard, asking for help, and doing my homework.” Kids who think realistically feel better about themselves and are more resilient.
How to Teach It: Encourage your kids to become thought detectives who evaluate the evidence that supports and refutes their assumptions.
It’s important to educate kids about their emotions and how those emotions influence them.
How to Teach It: Teach your kids to recognize their feelings.
How to Teach it: Proactively teach your kids problem-solving skills.
To learn more about how to raise mentally strong kids, pick up a copy of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do..

The orginal article.

Summary of “How To Deal With Uncomfortable Emotions And Reshape Your Identity”

If you’re willing to disregard how you feel in the moment, you’ll have access to a world of opportunity unavailable to 99% of the population.
Put most simply: when the why is strong enough, you’ll be willing to do any how.
If you 10X your why, you’ll have insights about how to do things far more effectively than the norm.
What you do alters how you see yourself and the world.
You’ll begin to believe in yourself, because you’ll have watched yourself act in a believable way.
You’ll find yourself in situations and ask yourself, “How did I get here? How am I going to pull this off?”.
How big is the emotional roller-coaster of life you’re going to ride? Small rises and dips? Or huge rises, drops, spins, and twists? Life is meant to be lived, emotions are meant to be felt and experienced.
No matter how “Successful” you become, trusting yourself never gets easier.

The orginal article.

Summary of “A Simple Way to Be More Assertive”

If the first part of the formula is: “When you continually interrupt me during meetings,” you might then add, “I don’t get a chance to voice my opinion.” End with a feelings statement.
An example of a feelings statement might be “I feel marginalized.”
A well-crafted assertiveness message can be effective on the spot, but it can also be something you hone and craft in preparation for an upcoming conversation, especially if you don’t feel particularly practiced at the craft or you’re anticipating a defensive reaction from the other person.
You could finally tell that colleague who keeps interrupting you exactly how you feel.
You could finally express that part of you that feels so underappreciated and marginalized.
It can feel pushy and overly aggressive to be assertive, especially if you’re timid or hate conflict.
An example of a feelings statement might be “I feel marginalized” or “I feel underappreciated.” While the other person may feel surprised- and even uncomfortable – to hear this, it’s hard to refute a person’s feelings.
You can tweak it to your own style to make the message feel as authentic as possible.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Imposter Syndrome: Why You Have It and What You Can Do About It”

Imposter syndrome was actually first known as “Imposter phenomenon.” In the 1970s, psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance coined the term “Imposter phenomenon”.
The imposter phenomenon refers to feelings of inadequacy, feeling like a fraud, attributing success to luck rather than skill and effort, and worrying about being found out.
All these feelings occur in those with imposter phenomenon despite evidence of success.
“If there is some new transitional experience, new career, new promotion, it can trigger those feelings.” But for those experiencing imposter phenomenon, Young says the cause seems to be setting expectations that are “Exceedingly high” and “Unrealistic notions of what it means to be competent.”
Imposter phenomenon can also correlate to worse outcomes at work-perhaps due to these unhealthy working habits.
A study of over 200 professionals at the University of Salzburg found those experiencing imposter phenomenon tended to be paid less, were less likely to be promoted, and felt less committed and satisfied at work.
Since imposter phenomenon is so damaging, but also extremely prevalent, let’s look at some of the ways to overcome it.
If you’re experiencing imposter phenomenon, try these approaches to lessen the impact on your emotional state and your work.

The orginal article.

Summary of “3 Negative Thinking Patterns to Avoid”

How you think about the events and people in your life can either help you reframe things in more positive ways that help you cope or take you down a rabbit hole of negative thinking and feeling bad about yourself, other people, and your future prospects.
Although you can’t always control what you think, you can learn to identify when you’re sinking into a negative pattern and then reboot and redirect your thinking along a more constructive or hopeful path.
If you keep redirecting your negative thinking over months and years, you may even change the patterns of neural connections in your brain so you react to life’s events in more grounded ways, with less panic and judgment.
It’s tricky to identify negative thinking patterns because our thoughts feel so immediate and true.
Rumination is a kind of negative thinking in which we get mentally stuck and keep spinning our wheels without making progress like a car stuck in a snowdrift.
Rumination can make you more and more anxious as you keep thinking of more and more negative outcomes that could possibly happen.
What to do instead. Pay attention to when your thinking is starting to get repetitive or negative.
Try to change your thinking to a problem-solving focus that is more deliberate and strategic.

The orginal article.

Summary of “New Neuroscience Reveals 3 Secrets That Will Make You Emotionally Intelligent”

Her new book How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain turns everything you know about the feels upside down.
It’s a big understatement to say that if the only emotion concepts you recognize are “Me feel good” and “Me feel bad” you’re not going to be very emotionally intelligent.
The more time you take to distinguish the emotions you feel, to recognize them as distinct and different, the more emotionally intelligent you will become.
Similar to the interior decorator, emotionally intelligent people don’t say “Me feel good.” They distinguish between happy, ecstatic, joyful and awesome.
If the only negative emotion concept you have is “Me feel bad” you’re going to have a difficult time making yourself feel better.
If you’re able to distinguish the more specific “I feel alone” from merely “Me feel bad” you’re able to deal with the problem: you call a friend.
In a collection of scientific studies, people who could distinguish finely among their unpleasant feelings- those “Fifty shades of feeling crappy”- were 30 percent more flexible when regulating their emotions, less likely to drink excessively when stressed, and less likely to retaliate aggressively against someone who has hurt them.
So learn new emotion words so you can feel new emotions and increase your emotional granularity.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Why Your Job Isn’t Making You Happier”

Doing what we think we should do rather than what we want to do is a trap that all of us risk falling into at some point in our work lives.
I’ve worked in organizations where a candidate’s scuffed shoes kill his chances of getting the job and where women must wear makeup and have certain hairstyles.
Some of us react to the very real pressures of the “Always on” 21st-century workplace by spending every waking moment working or thinking about work.
Many overworkers believe that working more will alleviate stress: If they just finish that project, get that report done, read all that e-mail, they’ll feel less out of control.
To be sure, many people still struggle with low wages and horrible working conditions, and for them, work may equal drudgery.
What’s surprising is that successful executives-today’s knowledge workers and creatives-sometimes don’t find true meaning in their work.
If you work with people you like and respect, and if they like and respect you in return, you probably enjoy going to work.
What we need at work is love founded on caring, concern, and camaraderie.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Compare yourself to other people without causing psychological damage using a healthy strategy”

A comparison habit can wreak psychological havoc, generating envy and leading to depression, so common wisdom has long warned against it.
Writer Mark Twain once said, “Comparison is the death of joy,” and philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti told admirers, “I never compare myself with anybody, but I learn from everybody, including presumptuous idiots.”
So if you can’t quit, try turning the habit to your advantage by learning from comparisons.
Compare to gain liberating perspective, says Ming Hai, a Zen Buddhist monk and abbot of the Bailin temple near Beijing, China.
On the Aug. 4 episode of his weekly podcast, Shifu Says, the monk discussed comparisons, responding to a query from Peter, a 40-year-old Hong Kong teacher who has started avoiding his materially successful friends because he feels inferior to them.
My job involves constant comparison and it would be totally maddening if I didn’t get a handle on the habit.
Born in the 1970s to a pimp and teenage orphan in Dayton, Ohio, McCormick mastered advantageous comparison, using it to make his way from poverty to wealth.
In his 2017 autobiography I Got There, he explains that by daring to compare, he learned what was possible.

The orginal article.

Summary of “3 ways to get rid of anger, according to neuroscience”

When experimental subjects are told of an unhappy event, but then instructed to try not to feel sad about it, they end up feeling worse than people who are informed of the event, but given no instructions about how to feel.
Bereaved people who make the most effort to avoid feeling grief, research suggests, take the longest to recover from their loss.
Your ability to experience positive feelings goes down – but not negative feelings.
Here’s what’s really interesting: when you suppress your feelings, the encounter gets worse for the angry person, too.
Sharing your feelings with others constructively is a good idea but “Getting it out” tends to snowball your anger.
Accordingly, people can rid themselves from unwanted feelings by engaging in a cognitive activity, such as doing math equations, playing a game of Tetris.
In one of Ochsner’s reappraisal experiments, participants are shown a photo of people crying outside a church, which naturally makes participants feel sad. They are then asked to imagine the scene is a wedding, that people are crying tears of joy.
As opposed to bottling up, when you tell yourself “They’re having a bad day”, angry feelings plummet and good feelings increase.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Tony Robbins explains what anyone should do every day, month, and year”

Performance coach Tony Robbins has seven clients he works with on an individual basis, and each pay him $1 million annually.
Robbins shared some of this advice recently in a peek at his “Unleash the Power Within” event, a three-and-a-half day intensive course designed to give participants an action plan for overhauling their lives.
Robbins streamed over an hour of his talk in front of a sold out crowd in New Jersey’s Prudential Center over Facebook Live, in which he broke down an annual, monthly, and daily exercise.
This is an opportunity for members of the audience to consider enrolling in another Robbins event, but examples for any budget or interest can include a free Codeacademy course to learn a programming language, Spanish classes, or joining a yoga practice.
Robbins told the audience that he has three mentors he goes to for feedback.
What’s crucial, Robbins said, is that your mentor or coach can be totally transparent with you, and never feels the need to skirt around the truth for the sake of your feelings.
Robbins created a 10-minute daily exercise called “Priming,” based on techniques found in yoga and Buddhist mindfulness meditation.
Robbins does three sets of 30, with a brief break in between each set, but you can begin with three sets of 10 and work your way up.

The orginal article.