Summary of “How to stop apologizing”

Though often attributed to women, apologizing isn’t just a female problem.
What makes some of us fall into this counterproductive habit? It might be performance anxiety, such as our first day on a new job, or when we lack confidence in our ability to run with the “Big dogs.” It’s almost as if we’re apologizing for taking up space, which is no way to make a good impression on a job or with a client.
The over-apology habit may begin innocently when we spontaneously apologize for a real offense.
If you’re constantly apologizing for what you can’t control, try this: “I know I’ve had to reschedule this meeting several times. Thank you for understanding.”
Case study: How to spot when you do need to apologize.
Someone who knows when and how to apologize appropriately has a huge advantage in the empathy column.
Try taking a friend or trusted coworker into your confidence about what you’re trying to accomplish, and agree on a high sign she can give you if she hears you apologizing unnecessarily.
Bottom line: Don’t apologize unnecessarily-know how to recognize when a sincere apology is necessary.

The orginal article.

Summary of “There Are Two Kinds of People: “Sorry” People and “Thank You” People”

My relationship with the words “I’m sorry” changed drastically last year in a crowded New York restaurant.
Haley, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Her well-intended apologies made me feel obligated to comfort her instead of bask in my own benevolence, which I’d have much preferred.
I wondered how the interaction might have gone had she thanked me profusely instead. “Sorry” and “Thank you” mean very different things, but they’re often used interchangeably in modern dialogue.
“Sorry I’m late” could also be “Thank you for waiting.” “Sorry to vent” could also be “Thank you for listening.” In these situations, both approaches endeavor to deliver the same point – acknowledgement of the other; communication of well intent – but they carry distinctly different tones.
A thank you, in contrast, is about the recipient and what they did right.
This leads to a kind of sheepishness around existing: sorry for brushing against you even though we’re on a crowded train; sorry for having a bad hair day; sorry for sneezing three times in a row.
A lot has been written on the internet about the virtue of replacing “Sorry” with “Thank you,” and most pieces focus on this exact “Empowerment” angle – the idea that skipping the apologies is a way of allowing yourself to take up space.
The “Thank you” transaction is about him, maybe even us; the “Sorry” is about me and my pain.

The orginal article.