Summary of “This Is the Age of Grandparents”

Even while grandparents offer stability and consistency to children whose previous lives might have been chaotic, grandfamilies suffer from a particular kind of precariousness.
For a variety of reasons, most grandparents are not licensed foster-care providers, don’t have custody or guardianship of their grandchildren, and thus don’t have legal standing to make decisions regarding the children’s schooling, medical care, or vacation plans.
Why go through all the red tape to make it a legal relationship when these children are already family? Why invite child-welfare caseworkers and judges to monitor what’s taking place in your own home? Grandparents might balk at licensing because it means giving the child over to the legal custody of the state.
Becoming a licensed foster parent might not even be an option for everyone, Beltran said, since to be eligible for licensing, the grandchild must have come to the grandparent’s home by way of a child-welfare agency.
The majority of grandparents raising grandchildren are left to make their way through trial and error, cobbling together financial and logistical support for the grandchildren as best they can.
One way some grandparents avoid this sense of precariousness is through a program called assisted guardianship.
Created by the Fostering Connections Act of 2008, which gives all states and some Native American tribes the option to use federal child-welfare money for this purpose, assisted guardianship is a way for licensed foster grandparents to exit the foster system.
As a result, assisted guardianships cost the state much less than non-relative foster care-$10,000 a year per child, compared to $60,000 per year for foster care, according to Beltran-and the grandparents with this arrangement have legal authority to act in their grandchild’s best interest without a case worker checking in.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Is your kid grumpy, stubborn or defiant? This might be the reason”

One mother’s investigation into why her child was acting so stubborn led to a surprising discovery: He was discouraged.
The root of an at-times defiant, difficult child: discouragementRudolf Dreikurs, a 20th century psychologist who focused much of his work on parenting, observed that, “A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.”
Sometimes a child who is misbehaving frequently is struggling with discouragement, 20th century psychologist Rudolf Dreikurs found.
After struggling to understand why her very smart child refused to do his homework, one mom finally asks the right question.
This is one of the hardest places to pull a kid out of because the child’s behavior makes adults feel the same emotions that the child is feeling: hopeless, helpless, and inadequate.
These uncomfortable emotions are frequently masked by the child with defiance and lack of motivation.
Tips for encouraging your child, combating defiant behaviorPulling our child out of this hole takes creativity and patience.
Break a task down into small steps and ask your child to just do one step at a time.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Hollywood Wanted An Edgy Child Actor. When He Spiraled, They Couldn’t Help.”

It had been years since Renfro had delivered a performance that caught the public’s attention, and at the time, he was treated as yet another addition to the mournful legacy of former child stars – Dana Plato, River Phoenix, Judy Garland – whose lives collapsed from Hollywood darling to death by overdose.
Renfro became an overnight star because he was a rowdy kid with natural talent who stood apart from more seasoned child actors.
10 years after Renfro’s death, interviews with Renfro’s former colleagues make plain that the mechanisms in place to protect child actors – mechanisms compromised by conflicts of interest and a dependence on parents and guardians – were scarcely capable of protecting kids like Renfro, and largely remain so today.
Renfro’s parents divorced when he was 5; his mother remarried and moved to Michigan, and Renfro’s paternal grandmother, Joanne Renfro, became the primary caregiver for an increasingly wayward child.
None of the adults who worked with Renfro as a child who spoke with BuzzFeed News said they suspected Renfro might be addicted to a drug like heroin.
With no boundaries off the set, Renfro kept getting pushed past perceived limits for child actors on the set, as well.
Instead, throughout the ’90s and Renfro’s early adolescence, Hollywood kept courting the child actor, trading on his name and fandom.
If the parent or guardian is checked out, and their child’s darker facets are what keeps them employed, it’s not in any way surprising that an actor like Renfro would slip through a system so ill-equipped to save him anyway.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Helping Kids With A.D.H.D., and Their Families, Thrive”

“People don’t truly understand what A.D.H.D. is and why a kid who’s bright can’t just grit his teeth and get it done,” Dr. Carlson said.
Sometimes just understanding different aspects of A.D.H.D. – that the child has executive function issues and needs help planning, or that the child cannot control his emotions and needs help with anger management – helps the parent cope.
Often, the kids are really trying, Dr. Carlson said.
So the kids need help, and successfully treating A.D.H.D. has multiple components.
Dr. Bertin said, A.D.H.D. itself makes all those interventions much more stressful for everyone, and “when parents are feeling swamped and overwhelmed it’s really hard to do a lot of things that are recommended in taking care of A.D.H.D.”.
Parents have to take care of themselves, and pay attention to the family dynamic, looking for ways to help everyone thrive.
So kids with A.D.H.D. need a short-term strategy that helps them function, he said, tied to a long-term plan to eventually give them the skills they need, because whatever they pursue in life, they will need those executive function skills.
Everyone should understand that though self-management skills are delayed, “that doesn’t mean kids have a free pass for life,” Dr. Bertin said.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Seven thought experiments to make you question everything”

Thought experiments are among the most important tools in the intellectual toolbox.
Widely used in many disciplines, thought experiments allow for complex situations to be explored, questions to be raised, and complex ideas to be placed in an understandable context.
Here we have seven thought experiments in philosophy you might not have heard of.
Question: How can it choose? Does it choose at all, or does it stand still until it starves?
Question: If you are obligated to save the life of a child in need, is there a fundamental difference between saving a child in front of you and one on the other side of the world?
Question: Is the Swampman the same person as the disintegrated fellow?Davidson said no.
Question: Are you obligated to keep the musician alive, or do you cut him loose and let him die because you want to?
Thompson, who has several excellent thought experiments to her name, says no.

The orginal article.

Summary of “To Raise Resilient Kids, Be a Resilient Parent”

The nature of the parent’s response may vary, Dr. Markham said, but the message is the same – that anger, sadness or frustration are unacceptable.
This, Dr. Markham noted, is the opposite of resilience; instead, it’s a fragile rigidity that leaves both parent and child fearful that outsized emotions could shatter them.
In contrast to this fragility, parents who don’t flinch from the power of emotions like anger have a greater capacity to absorb challenging interactions with their children, said Dr. Siegel, who is executive director of the Mindsight Institute.
To respond thoughtfully to our child’s outbursts, we have to first silence the alarm bells going off inside our head. Dr. Markham coaches parents to “Hit the pause button” before taking any action, even in the face of a screaming child.
Dr. Markham noted that it is actually when we don’t express our emotions that we lose control of them – not the other way around.
“Notice what’s happening with you, and start to take responsibility for it,” Dr. Markham suggested.
“We’re living in this culture of ‘yes’ parenting,” Dr. Newman said, “And it’s easier to say yes than to deal with a child’s meltdown.” But parents can consider, “How will a ‘no’ help?” as a way to explore the reason for a particular boundary so that you and your child can better understand it.
“Our egos are very tied up in our parenting,” said Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of “How to Raise an Adult.” Dr. Naumburg noted that this is partially informed by a cultural narrative that suggests that “If the kids are not O.K., then it’s because we parents have done something wrong.” As Ms. Lythcott-Haims put it, “If we can get a life, maybe our kids can have one too.”

The orginal article.

Summary of “My daughter’s disabled. Please don’t look away from her”

Chances are, you and your children will encounter Esprit or a child who is similarly disabled at a store, or in a park.
Your child will be struck by Esprit’s appearance.
Typical for trisomy-18 kids, her head is small, her eyelids droop and her ears are low-set.
Add the wheelchair and the braces on her feet and midsection, and you’ve got quite a sight.
Older children pointedly refrain from staring, but younger children gape uninhibitedly.
Embarrassed parents will try to distract their child, or drag him away, probably delivering a “Don’t stare” lecture once out of sight.
You can’t blame a 4-year-old for staring at a child who looks different.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Why French Kids Don’t Have ADHD”

To the extent that French clinicians are successful at finding and repairing what has gone awry in the child’s social context, fewer children qualify for the ADHD diagnosis.
The French holistic, psychosocial approach also allows for considering nutritional causes for ADHD-type symptoms-specifically the fact that the behavior of some children is worsened after eating foods with artificial colors, certain preservatives, and/or allergens.
These divergent philosophies could account for why French children are generally better-behaved than their American counterparts.
Pamela Druckerman highlights the divergent parenting styles in her recent book, Bringing up Bébé. I believe her insights are relevant to a discussion of why French children are not diagnosed with ADHD in anything like the numbers we are seeing in the U.S. From the time their children are born, French parents provide them with a firm cadre-the word means “Frame” or “Structure.” Children are not allowed, for example, to snack whenever they want.
French parents, Druckerman observes, love their children just as much as American parents.
Consistently enforced limits, in the French view, make children feel safe and secure.
Finally, French parents believe that hearing the word “No” rescues children from the “Tyranny of their own desires.” And spanking, when used judiciously, is not considered child abuse in France.
As a therapist who works with children, it makes perfect sense to me that French children don’t need medications to control their behavior because they learn self-control early in their lives.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Teach Your Kid to Hold a Pencil”

No. 2 surprised people-the pencil grip isn’t something a lot of adults think about.
It means the child is not using his or her hand muscles efficiently, and therefore may tire out quickly, complain about arm or hand pain, or turn in illegible work.
Very early on, kids should be building their fine motor skills-digging their fingers in sand, molding sculptures out of Play-Doh, tearing scraps of paper and zipping zippers-so that they have the muscles they need for pencil-gripping success.
Have your kid place their writing hand in the sock, slipping their pointer finger through one hole and their thumb through the other.
Here’s a video from Sara McClure of the blog Happy Brown House.
Have your child pinch the sharpened end of the pencil and flip it around until it rests in proper writing position.
Place a crumpled tissue between your child’s palm and last two fingers, and have them hold it there.
It helps keep those extra fingers out of the way as they write.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Have a ‘Conversation’ With a Baby”

New parents hear the advice often: You need to talk to your baby! A lot! The book SuperBaby proclaims 30,000 words a day is the magic number for optimal language success.
When my daughter was a baby, I made it the utmost priority to ensure she heard all the words.
In a study of children between the ages of 4 and 6, they found that differences in the number of “Conversational turns” accounted for a large portion of the differences in brain physiology and language skills that they found among the children.
The study, which compared the brain scans of children to data captured through audio recordings, was done with children ages four to six, but the researches say there are takeaways for parents of younger children.
You: “Did you see the bus go by?” Baby: “Puh Gah Oooh.” You: “Yes, it was big and yellow!”.
If your baby seems to be staring at a certain character or object in a book, you can expand on it, saying, “Oh, you seem very interested in the tortoise! Look, it has a shell! I wonder what it ate today.”
If your baby squeals, you can mimic it, going back and forth as if it’s a game.
When my daughter was a baby, she would say, “Mih” when she wanted milk.

The orginal article.