Summary of “Having the best mattress, suitcase, and vitamins nearly broke me”

Day one: Friday I wake up on my Casper Wave mattress in my Brooklinen sheets.
I’ve just come from a few days in DC having used an Away suitcase, which is millennial pink and is extremely fun to zag around on the cobblestones of Brooklyn and between the insufferable crowds at Penn Station.
I’m more easily annoyed about tiny imperfections – the way my feet are still clammy when I wake up, that tumbleweed of blonde hair on the floor, an annoying text that I’ll feel bad about ignoring all day.
Day two: Saturday I wake up on my Casper mattress in my Brooklinen sheets feeling absolutely miserable.
Day three: Sunday The first thing to go is the bullet journaling.
What I did not know about Care/of is that based on your answers, you can easily end up having to take nine vitamins a day.
Day six: Wednesday On the subway on the way to work, I catch a glimpse in the reflection of the door: the headless body of a woman wearing an Everlane trench coat and a tasteful $200 bag.
The last day: Friday again I wake up in my Casper mattress in my Brooklinen sheets far too early for having gone to bed at 2 am.

The orginal article.

Summary of “I’m a Caregiver for My Partner, and Here’s How Our Relationship Survives”

Growing up, Em learned how to drive a tractor and a truck, and she knew how to change a tire before she got behind the wheel of a car.
At a time when most of her friends were getting their careers and families going, she became a professional patient, in and out of hospitals, preparing and recovering, forever going to specialists and surgeons who poked and prodded, cut her open and sewed her up again.
Finding a restaurant can be exasperating to us both; I get frustrated at how many places we can’t go, and she feels like a drag and gets deflated, too.
I asked questions about how it worked and how often she changed it-you know, the usual foreplay.
You wish for love, but when it arrives, you never know how it will look.
“Do you think I will ever get better?” she asks, and I always say yes, because what else am I going to say? I need to believe it, too.
“Women often just want someone to listen to them.” So “I’m sorry you’re going through that; tell me more about it” is a perfectly reasonable response when your partner starts talking about what’s wrong.
“Out of all best intentions, the well partner often takes on more than they should, making the ill spouse feel disempowered and diminished,” Jacobs says.

The orginal article.

Summary of “4 Strategies For Becoming a Master Persuader”

Most people do not want to expend the effort that goes into thinking about others and figuring out a strategic entry past their defenses.
The following four strategies - distilled from the examples of the greatest influencers in history - are designed to help you focus more deeply on your targets, and create the kinds of emotional effects that will help lower peoples’ resistance.
We hear parts of what other people are saying, in order to follow and keep the conversation going.
If the flattery is done right, we feel that the flatterer likes us, and we tend to like people who like us.
With people who are your equals, you have more room to flatter.
In judo you do not counter people’s moves with a thrust of your own, but rather encourage their aggressive energy in order to make them fall on their own.
Stop fighting with such people and use the actual nature of their rigid behavior to effect a gentle change that could lead to something greater.
Keep in mind the following: people often won’t do what others ask them to do, because they simply want to assert their will.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Productivity Tips for People Who Hate Productivity Tips”

Why do people who know a lot about what helps people focus still struggle to focus? Through my work, I’ve identified several reasons, as well as strategies that may help you gain control.
Trying to make it work can send you into a rut where you repeat unhelpful behaviors while beating yourself up over your lack of focus.
These are often the same clients who are closely attuned to the quality of their work experience, who find joy in flow and seek to create more of it, and for whom the introduction of industrial productivity levers feels stifling.
She’s much better served by an intention to “Work on project” or “Make progress on project,” particularly when she identifies discrete tasks and little milestones that can serve as indicators of progress.
Making progress on work that is meaningful is among the most energizing and satisfying experiences anyone can have.
University of Minnesota professor Theresa Glomb recommends organizing your work for a “Downhill start.” Like parking your car on a slope facing downhill, what can you do to set conditions such that you need only lift your foot from the brake to get moving? Clear off your desk before you start a new task? Write down your two top priorities for the next day before leaving in the evening? Perhaps you’re a big-picture person who gets bogged down in details.
Waiting for inspiration to create something big from scratch doesn’t work; in fact, it slams the brakes on productivity.
What does work is finding ways to take small steps and enjoying the resulting sense of progress.

The orginal article.

Summary of “George Saunders on the Best Writing Advice He’s Received”

George Saunders’ new book Fox 8 is available now.
How do you tackle writer’s block?I like David Foster Wallace’s notion that writer’s block is always a function of the writer having set a too-high bar for herself.
So: writing is of you, but it’s not YOU. There’s this eternal struggle between two viewpoints: 1) good writing is divine and comes in one felt swoop, vs: 2) good writing evolves, through revision, and is not a process of sudden, inspired, irrevocable statement but of incremental/iterative exploration.
What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever received?Once, when I was a student, I cornered my mentor and hero Tobias Wolff at a party and assured him that I had sworn off comedic sci-fi and was now writing “Real literature.” I think he sensed, correctly, that 1) this was not an attitude that was going to produce my best work but 2) there was going to be no arguing me off of that position.
The new writing was fun and ostensibly entertaining-it came out of a place of joy and orneriness, instead of a place of stiffness or control or pedanticism.
Catnip! The book is the first one I read that really had style-I could feel that Forbes had been paying attention to every line and also could feel the benefit of that-the book had a physicality I’d never experienced before.
Gogol somehow manages to make us feel sympathy for the main character without that character needing to be a saint.
He’s a stinker, kind of-someone we wouldn’t want to be around and yet, by the end, we feel so protective of him.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Recover From a Night of Bad Dreams”

My dream last night was so upsetting that I actually don’t want to describe it, for fear that will somehow make it come true, but I’ll just say that it involved a family member’s extremely gruesome health emergency.
Thankfully this sort of thing doesn’t happen to me too often, but when it does it’s jarring, and leaves me emotionally drained and anxious all day – even though I know what I dreamt isn’t “Real.” I tend to feel guilty about dwelling on something I only imagined, but according to Alice Robb, author of Why We Dream: The Transformative Power of Our Nightly Journey, out later this month, it’s normal to experience real, bodily effects after traumatic dreams.
“Emotions and stress experienced in dreams can have very real emotional and physiological consequences,” she says.
In the long-term, Robb suggests learning to lucid dream, or even just practicing lucid dreaming techniques during the day.
In her book, she writes: “If people can learn to become conscious in their dreams, they can wake themselves up or even banish their dream-foes.” She describes a 2006 experiment done by psychologists at Utrecht University in the Netherlands, in which the researchers asked some participants to practice lucid dream induction techniques on their own, gave private lucid dreaming lessons to others, and then left a third group untreated.
“[and] the improvement didn’t depend on achieving lucidity; several people who never managed to become lucid in their dreams still had a reduction in nightmares.
“Dream recall is sharpest right when you wake up, and I like knowing as many details as I can – rather than having that hazy feeling of ‘WTF happened last night to make me feel this way?'” Dream journals are often recommended as a means to greater self-intuition, but they can be more utilitarian, too.
If writing your dreams down isn’t your scene, or even if it is, sometimes it’s helpful to – yes – talk about your dreams with a willing listener or two.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Secrets of people who stay happy in the worst circumstances”

In the face of these setbacks, some people seem to fall apart, while others find ways to move forward and continue to get things done.
First, bear in mind that resilience does not mean ignoring the negative feelings that come along with a tough time.
That doesn’t mean that events can’t have a long-term influence on how happy you are, just that the best predictor of how happy you will be several months after a big positive or negative event is how happy you were before it.
Third, there are times when negative feelings are the best way forward from a negative event.
Quite a bit of work shows that when times are bad, people are more resilient when they focus on things they can do to move forward rather than focusing on the ways that circumstances have conspired to put them in a bind.
Surround yourself with people even if you don’t feel like it.
When you are angry about something at work, you tend to find reasons why other people are an obstacle to your success.
When you interpret the actions of other people positively, you are more likely to create good interactions with others.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Are we wrong to assume fish can’t feel pain?”

In an essay titled Fish Intelligence, Sentience and Ethics, the Australian researcher Culum Brown suggests that the sheer scale of the global fishing industry makes the idea of legislating for the humane treatment of fish “Too daunting to consider”.
Asking whether fish suffer means asking whether fish possess the ability to feel at all.
“My research has shown that fish have a strikingly similar neuronal system to mammals,” she told me, adding that until 2002, “It was generally believed fish did not have feelings”.
Nerves are not proof that fish experience pain – but Sneddon showed that fish have the necessary hardware.
As Earle said, fish “Have senses we humans can only dream about. Try to imagine having taste buds all along your body. Or the ability to sense the electricity of a hiding fish. Or eyes of a deep sea shark.” Many fish see four major colours; humans only see three.
“At feeding time, a smaller, younger cobia would venture down and nudge the older one up to the surface to feed. They would swim in tandem until feeding time ended. Then the younger fish would take the older one back to the bottom. It happened daily. Seeing a relationship between two fish gave me an entirely new appreciation for the complexity of their world.”
Fish anatomy, neurochemistry and behaviour all indicate that fish experience sensations including wellbeing and pain.
“Suddenly, all the fish turned. Soon they were pelting us like hail stones.” Based on the time it took for the divers to see that a pack of large bluefish was on the attack, Wicklund estimated that the small fish “Were communicating danger and panic throughout the school from as far as a mile away”.

The orginal article.

Summary of “What to Do When You Feel Let Down by Someone”

With my friend, these seemingly contradictory feelings were adding to my stress as I tried to come to terms with the change in our relationship.
To get a handle on what was happening, I decided to make a list of unhelpful responses to feeling let down by someone.
That’s okay, but instead of letting that anger brew and intensify, let yourself feel the sadness that underlies it.
Feeling happy for others is called mudita, or “Empathetic joy” in Buddhist practice.
It’s worth it because feeling happy for others makes you feel happy.
When you’re feeling sad or let down in some way, it helps to speak to yourself in a compassionate voice.
I hope you’ll try compassionate self-talk the next time you feel yourself on the verge of aiming judgmental thoughts at yourself.
It’s painful to feel let down by someone, but it happens to all of us.

The orginal article.

Summary of “It’s Okay to Be Good and Not Great”

It sounds appealing and rolls off the tongue nicely, but there’s a good chance it’s downright wrong.
It’s about being at least OK with where you are, about accepting good enough.
What’s interesting is that not always trying so damn hard to be great isn’t just the path to being happier; it’s also the path to getting better.
It’s about being good enough over and over again.
A good-enough mindset might very well be the key to being great and happy.
During the times you were happiest and performed best, were you striving? Were you chasing after something? Or were you more like Kipchoge-grounded, at peace, and feeling good enough with what was in front of you? This doesn’t mean you should never desire productive change or improvement.
Though they may run counter to so much of the current ethos, adopting the following core principles of good enough is likely the best route to being happier and getting better.
The research of University of Houston professor Brene Brown demonstrates that the more you can bring your entire self to everything you do-the good, the bad, the sad, and the ugly-the better you’ll feel and the better you’ll be.

The orginal article.