Summary of “What It Really Means to Be There and “Hold Space” for Someone Else”

“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.” ~Maryam Hasnaa.
I remember when I first turned to a friend and said, “What does holding space really mean?” I asked with the inquisitiveness of a child, like a small human who does not yet know what a word means.
Holding space is viewing someone without judgment and seeing him or her through loving kindness.
Holding space is like holding the door open for someone to walk through to experience a new model of the world.
What we are really doing when we hold space is nothing but pure acceptance-of ourselves, of others, and of the moment.
Holding space doesn’t have to involve anyone else physically being there with us or listening to us directly.
This means, the more you can hold space for yourself, the more you can hold space for others.
Which means holding space isn’t just beneficial for one.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How Perfectionists Can Get Out of Their Own Way”

Perfectionists are motivated to make the absolute best choice – even when doing so isn’t strictly necessary.
Since perfectionists tend to ruminate over even tiny mistakes, they’re strongly motivated to attempt to recover situations involving sunk costs.
Perfectionists can spend too long working on marginally productive activities before moving on.
Perfectionists want to feel absolutely ready before taking on challenges.
For the most part, perfectionists tend to apply their extremely rigorous standards to only themselves.
One reason perfectionists are so strongly motivated to avoid small mistakes is because making them triggers their tendency to ruminate.
Heuristics are a great method of prioritizing for perfectionists.
Because perfectionists want to be flawless, they’re typically dismissive of incremental gains.

The orginal article.

Summary of “I’ve decided to reclaim my life”

More often than not, you’ll find us on the couch, in silence, each staring into a phone.
Where’s the phone? Is it charged? Should I charge it now, or later? At work or at home, notifications buzz me like low-flying planes.
I’m crossing the street, I’ll stop and look at the phone and have no idea what’s going on.
I’m with my kids and I’m still touching the phone.
More troubling is a sporadic buzzing I feel in my leg, which feels like a phone ringing, when the phone isn’t actually in my pocket.
I’m a freelance producer, so if I’m out in the field and miss some key correspondence, an excuse of “Well, you see, my phone usage, it became a bit much” would merely be an efficient way to make sure I am never hired again.
Then my “Dumb” phone failed to mount on my clever laptop, which meant loading music and podcasts became another hurdle to clear.
To fly a 10-minute podcast on to the phone, Bluetooth wanted 25 minutes.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Highs and Lows of Testosterone”

Beginning at age 30, testosterone levels drop, on average, about 1 percent a year.
About 5 percent of men between the ages of 50 and 59 have low levels of testosterone along with symptoms like loss of libido and sluggishness, according to a few small studies.
Insurance companies typically require two morning testosterone readings of less than 300 nanograms per deciliter plus symptoms of low testosterone before they reimburse for supplements.
In March, The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism published the Endocrine Society’s latest guidelines, which concur with the F.D.A. The group stated that testosterone therapy should only be given for men who have proven low levels of testosterone and avoided in men who have had a stroke or heart attack within the last six months or who are at high risk for prostate cancer.
His initial testosterone level was below normal, around 202.
Testosterone levels fluctuate, peaking around 8 a.m. and diminishing throughout the day.
Just as there are things men can do to boost levels, there are activities that lower testosterone scores.
Dr. Bhasin said that the kind of training endured by special armed forces – tough exercise, lack of sleep and food – can cause testosterone to drop to the levels of men who have been castrated – lower than 50.Obesity causes testosterone levels to plummet – while losing 10 percent of body fat can increase levels by 100 points.

The orginal article.

Summary of “A Meditation on Working with Anxiety”

Let’s take a few moments to feel that we are in the mind and body with a mindful check in: Feeling any sensations, any holdings, any tightness in the body as well as feeling into your mood, feeling into our emotions, and just acknowledging whatever’s being felt and letting be.
Let’s bring the focus of our awareness into the soles of each of our feet, getting to feel the heels, bottom of the feet, the toes, the top of the feet, behind into the Achilles tendon, and gently above into the ankles joints, feeling each of the feet up to the ankles with awareness and just acknowledging whatever is felt in the body or potentially in the mind.
Feeling into the feet, into the ankles, letting the awareness rise up into each of the lower legs, and to the calves, the shins, and coming up into the knee joints – feeling into the body with awareness.
Now, letting the awareness rise up from the lower legs and knees into the upper legs, into the thighs, our hamstrings, quadriceps, feeling into the upper legs, and feeling its connection up into the hip joints, feeling sensations, the felt sense of the body.
Feeling into the top, into the back of the head, feeling sensations, and letting be.
Very gently dipping the toes into feeling the fear, just acknowledging what’s there, letting be, feeling into the fear with awareness – there’s no need to try to analyze or figure things out, just feeling into the experience of feeling anxious, fearful, worried, and letting be.
No need to push ourselves more than we can handle but just working with the edges, feeling into the anxiety and acknowledging.
Now as we begin to end this meditation on working with anxiety let’s take a moment to remember all those that are being challenged with these feelings, all those living with fear, worry – let us extend our well wishes of healing, of peace, to all those living in fear.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How Not to Care When People Don’t Like You”

Plus, it’s empowering not to fear being disliked-not that you should run around violating social norms, but when you’re not wasting energy molding your personality to someone else’s to be accepted, you’re more likely to find people who genuinely like you for you, and those relationships are far less exhausting to keep up.
The people who dislike you don’t think certain facets of your personality jibe with theirs; sometimes, you just don’t offer them enough social capital to be worth their time.
“Because we’re a very social species with a pretty intense dominance hierarchy, especially when it comes to work, and sometimes in social situations, people make specific strategic alliances and switch alliances as it suits them to meet their needs as they define them,” Verdolin says.
“Some people are very welcoming and some people are not,” Verdolin says.
Even if you find yourself on the outs with some folks, chances are, you’ve at least got a few people you can rely on when you’re feeling low.
“Spending time with people that care about you can boost your self-esteem and help you to feel more secure,” Brotheridge says.
Besides acting as a balm to your wounded ego, focusing your energies on relationships with people who appreciate you will, in the larger picture, be a much more fulfilling use of your time and social energy.
“If people are jealous or whatever, all feelings are welcome.” You don’t need to go around antagonizing people, but if someone doesn’t like you and the feeling is mutual, you don’t necessarily have to go out of your way to appease them, either.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Mary H.K. Choi’s ‘Emergency Contact’ Exalts Digital Love”

Sam texts Penny asking for fashion advice; Penny texts Sam about how much she hates maraschino cherries.
How did you think about what kind of tone you wanted for Penny and Sam’s texts?
If you do lean on text to do the heavy lifting in terms of creating a safe and intimate space for them, it had to not feel like text.
Beck: There’s a super interesting paradox about texting that I’ve been thinking about lately.
Americans text more than they call, and texting is the primary form of communication for most people, especially younger generations.
Choi: Penny is so trusting with such a tiny social circle that she has wallpaper push notifications for her texts.
In the book, every time Penny and Sam have some kind of new communication, moving from texting to phone calls or seeing each other in person, they call it “Escalating.” You wouldn’t have as many levels to escalate up through in the past because it was only phone or in person and that’s it.
You’re like, “Oh I won’t call them because it’s so rude of me to want my friend to carve out 15 minutes to talk to me.” So you text instead. And it’s kind of sad. Choi: It always reminds me of the Looney Tunes [gophers].

The orginal article.

Summary of “11 Reasons You Might Be Tired, Even After Sleeping Well”

The reasons you might be tired, even after sleeping well can vary from easily preventable to something more serious that will require some doctor visits.
Typically, experts say that adults need seven to nine hours of sleep each night to get energy and stay healthy – but it is possible to get that amount of sleep every single night and still feel sleepy the next day.
There might also be something you’re doing before bed that isn’t letting you sleep as well as you thought – you might think you just had some great shut-eye, but you may not have been as deeply asleep as it seemed.
What could be behind all of this? Here are a few reasons you’re tired even after sleeping well:.1.
If you’re drinking coffee as much as six hours before your bedtime, that’s affecting your sleep – even if you don’t realize it.
Blue screens like the ones on smartphones can trigger a “Wake-up” hormone even when you’re about to sleep for the night.
Again, you might not realize it’s messing with your rest, but it could be keeping you from getting a deep enough sleep and leave you tired the next day.7.
Of course, the issue could also be with the way you’re sleeping.

The orginal article.

Summary of “19 Great Truths My Grandmother Told Me on Her 90th Birthday”

Those are the opening lines of the final entry in my grandmother Zelda’s journal-a 270-page leather-bound journal she wrote small entries in almost every morning during the final decade of her life.
Design YOUR journey every step of the way! The life you create from doing something that moves you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.
One of the most important abilities you can develop in life is the willingness to accept and grow through times of difficulty and discomfort.
The truth is, throughout your life there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart.
Ultimately, the people in your life make all the difference in the person you are capable of being.
Life is just too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life.
It’s during the toughest times of your life that you’ll get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you.

The orginal article.

Summary of “18 Things You Need To Give Up To Become A High-Achieving Person”

Are you willing to give up late nights out for late nights in working? Are you willing to turn a deaf ear to blind criticisms? Are you willing to listen to helpful ones? Are you going to be able to give up the doubt, the resistance, the uncertainty, the avoidance mechanisms? As Mastin Kipp says: Are you willing to live as other people won’t, so maybe you can live as other people can’t?
High achieving people understand that the foundation of life is the white space – and that because our energy is limited each day, what we spend it on will define us in the future.
Building your own business or embarking on a side project or trying a whole new career doesn’t mean you’re diverting from the path of certainty and into a life of the reckless unknown.
Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance.
If you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you, and tell you what you really need.
Passion might have told you what you want to do in life, but it isn’t going to be the thing that propels you through late nights of work and difficult days that make you just want to quit.
To become a high achieving person, you need principles and you need habits.
The reality is that life unfolds from the inside out, and that we don’t change when our circumstances do, our circumstances change when we do.

The orginal article.