Summary of “What to Do When Your Heart Isn’t in Your Work Anymore”

What if they’re not? What if you’re stuck in a job or a career that you once loved, but your heart isn’t in it anymore?
According to a 2017 Gallup survey, only one-third of U.S. employees feel engaged at work; that is, only one of three workers brings a consistently high level of initiative, commitment, passion, and productivity to their job.
You might question the ultimate meaning of the work you’re doing.
According to research by Yale professor Amy Wrzesniewski, people tend to fall into one of three categories: Some see their work as a career; others see it as just a job; and still others see it as a calling.
Even if you don’t find your true calling, you will at least increase the odds of finding a meaningful work experience.
What novel tweaks can you make to redesign your job, even slightly? Sometimes even the smallest adjustments can lead to qualitatively meaningful changes in your work experience.
Having an outlet for your passion outside of work can counterbalance the monotony of nine-to-five daily work.
These inspirational endeavors can even have unintended positive spillover effects at work, giving you energy and inspiration to craft your job or reengage with parts of work you actually like.

The orginal article.

Summary of “A 3-Step Process to Break a Cycle of Frustration, Stress, and Fighting at Work”

Bring to mind a conflict at work, and you’ll probably have the perpetrator in mind: your incompetent boss, that passive-aggressive colleague, or the resource-hoarding peer in another department.
Frustration, low-grade fear, irritation, and even rage are familiar companions at work.
We don’t thrive physically, we are disengaged and unhappy at work, and our brains don’t work properly.
If you want to break this cycle and have fewer destructive conflicts at work, the first step is to become more aware of your feelings and reactions to pressure and stress.
Telling yourself you don’t have time or are not inclined to “Work on yourself” will keep you stuck in a bunker mentality at work.
To minimize stress and conflict at work, we need to replace “I, me, mine” with “We, us, ours.” We need to stop seeing each other in terms of what we can get, and replace it with what we can give.
Developing self-awareness, increasing your emotional self-control, and recharging relationships at work takes commitment, but you don’t have to remake yourself to improve how you deal with strife.
As tempting as it is to blame others for our strife-ridden companies, the best way to make work a more enjoyable, productive experience is to lean in to our natural empathy, learn to care for ourselves and others, and take responsibility for our feelings and actions.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to make a friend fast”

What we know as human society is held together by interpersonal relationships – on one hand, it’s the give-and-take equilibria between persons or social groups and the expectations of reciprocally beneficial behavior, and on the other, the feelings of closeness, trust, and personalistic self-disclosure.
The study I’m referring to is the Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings, and in in the authors present a superficially reliable-looking method of creating close relationships.
Id est, interpersonal relationships of two strangers who end up reporting a substantial amount of closeness in their relationship after a guided 45-minute conversation.
To define closeness, or intimacy of a relationship, they use something called “The inclusion of other in the self,” which represent a state in which each subject of a relationship feels their innermost self to be validated, understood, and cared for by the other.
Most can agree on closeness having to involve some aspect of feeling close to have any chance of enduring and improving.
Compared to a survey on the closeness of the “Closest, deepest, most involved, and most intimate relationship” given to a similar group of students, the closeness achieved by this experiment overshot that which was reported in the survey by about a third of the students.
If closeness isn’t an explicit task, introverts don’t get as close as extraverts.
If the partners were explicitly told that their task is to become close to each other, both extroverts and introverts will report on a similar level of achieved closeness.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Ask Polly: I Moved for My Job, and It Was a Huge Mistake!”

What’s crazy about overachievers who take big risks but who are also neurotic is that we expect ourselves to FIND A SOLUTION using our minds instead of allowing our feelings to tell us what should come next.
Slowing down to feel your feelings doesn’t mean not exercising, which you know manages to keep you afloat moodwise.
You’ll get upset about something, but because you’re feeling it completely instead of pushing it away and bellowing GET BACK TO WORK, YOU FAILURE, you will be able to follow your instincts for a change.
Sensitive women who work their asses off and don’t feel their feelings enough tend to have a lot of trouble standing up for themselves in work situations.
So we’re always paranoid about being “Bitchy.” We ignore our own feelings and we try to ignore other people’s feelings, too, to compensate.
Knowing how you feel and being able to stand up for how you feel instead of defining yourself as a fuck-up and a judgmental bitch is pretty much essential to every woman, and it’s particularly essential if you want to enter middle age without constantly hating yourself for not having “Arrived” in some magical place by now.
No matter what you do next, you have to honor your feelings and give yourself more credit for working so hard to get to this point.
Not in a place or in a job, but in that good feeling inside your heart that says, “I am doing my best. I took a big risk and I floundered but I’m still trying so hard, and that’s a beautiful thing, maybe even more beautiful than sailing across some imaginary finish line.” There is promise in this false start.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The scientific link between boredom and creativity”

As an only child who grew up before the rise of the Internet, boredom was my constant companion.
In another recent study, researchers at the University of Central Lancashire set out to test the link between boredom and creativity.
There’s another big upside to boredom: It encourages us to take action toward a non-boring alternative.
Rachel Kazez, a Chicago-based therapist and founder of All Along, which connects people with mental health resources, sees boredom as a set of mental cues that can reveal important information about our true feelings.
“One of the cues our boredom gives us might be ‘I don’t like this anymore, or I feel trapped here, or I’m not being challenged,” Kazez says.
“One of the cues our boredom gives us might be ‘I don’t like this anymore, or I feel trapped here, or I’m not being challenged.'” And so, if we turn straight to Candy Crush or Twitter whenever we feel bored, we might rush right past an important observation.
In our flight from boredom, we’re also often fleeing from uncomfortable feelings.
Boredom, by contrast, is an opportunity for us to meet our own needs-to turn inward rather than outward and tend our emotions, interact with our creativity, and give our brains a break.

The orginal article.

Summary of “20 Mantras that Will Adjust Your Attitude”

After a moment of fielding answers and nodding her head, she replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass is irrelevant. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the absolute weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”
As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your worries, frustrations, and stressful thoughts are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a little while and nothing drastic happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to feel noticeable pain. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”
Above all, the mantras in this post collectively serve as a healthy coping mechanism for life’s inevitable disappointments.
If you notice yourself doing something similar, it’s time to pause, admit to yourself that you’re coping by avoiding, and then shift your focus to a healthier coping mechanism, like using the mantras in this post to help you open your mind.
When you face struggles with an attitude of openness – open to the painful feelings and emotions you have – you find out that it’s not comfortable, but you can still be fine and you can still step forward.
An interaction with someone you love angers or frustrates you – Instead of lashing out at a loved one when you’re upset with them, you can sit quietly with your difficult feelings and just be open to what it’s like to feel them.
You can sit with these feelings and be open to them instead, and then gradually build positive daily rituals for coping in healthier ways – taking walks, meditating, talking with someone about your feelings, journaling, reviewing the relevant mantras provided in this post, etc.
You have to force yourself to do the opposite – to give yourself compassion, to sit with the powerfully difficult thoughts and feelings you have, and to open your mind to what lies ahead. Gradually it becomes evident that death isn’t just an ending, but also a beginning.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Box’s VP Engineering on Biohacks For A Better Career”

Tomas Barreto, VP of Engineering at Box, takes biohacking seriously.
Barreto draws a straight line between the biohacking work he’s done to not only a more thoughtful, healthier life but also the trajectory of his career.
He credits biohacking for giving him resilience and capacity, both of which he needed in spades to grow his subset of the engineering team from 5 to 130, from its early days through a high-profile IPO.There’s no section on LinkedIn for biohacking bona fides yet, but if there were, Barreto’s would be voluminous.
“One of the themes that emerged is what Duhigg calls the ‘internal locus of control.’ It’s the idea that, if you feel like you’re in control, your motivation will go up,” says Barreto, “I noticed this in my own career, especially over a decade at Box. Some of my most productive times didn’t necessarily correlate with my seniority.”
Barreto credits two principles in particular with giving him the stamina and energy to work better and push himself further.
One of Barreto’s favorite biohacks is the use of power poses.
Deep sleep varies from zero – some people aren’t getting any and don’t realize it – to 35% of total sleep time,” says Barreto.
It’s well worth investing the time to study and optimize your sleep, but Barreto does have one favorite hack that’s helpful for many: “If I had to give one starter tip that resonates with a lot of people – something people may not have tried yet – it’s not exposing yourself to blue light, which is emitted from your TV, computer or smartphone, before sleep.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Don’t Take Your Marching Orders From Your Belly”

During the Winter War, Finnish troops held off and often won astonishing victories against the Russian forces invading their country.
Though few combat troops were stationed in the area being targeted – it was manned largely by medical and support personnel – the action would allow the Soviets to cut off the front’s only supply road. The Finns had launched many surprise attacks on the Russians; now the tables would be turned.
The episode is simply a very high stakes example of something we all do every single day: forfeit a higher good in order to satiate a lower desire or impulse.
“The most precious of all possessions, is the power over ourselves; power to withstand trial, to bear suffering, to front danger; power over pleasure and pain; power to follow our convictions, however resisted by menace and scorn; power of calm reliance in scenes of darkness and storms. He that has not a mastery over his inclinations; he that knows not how to resist the importunity of present pleasure or pain, for the sake of what reason tells him is fit to be done, wants the true principle of virtue and industry, and is in danger of never being good for anything.” -John Locke.
The brain stem and mid-brain control basic physiological processes and appetites; called the “Reptilian brain” it’s responsible for our more “Primitive” instincts.
Higher up still is the neocortex – the seat of our reasoning power and more complex, abstract, sophisticated thinking skills.
Appetites are only a problem when they are more powerful than our higher selves.
To let the noblest aspects of your character call the shots, rather than taking marching orders from your belly.

The orginal article.

Summary of “You Need to Give Up These Toxic Habits If You Want to Be Confident and Successful”

If you emanate confidence, others will be drawn to you.
Without further ado, here are some common behaviors you should give up in order to be more confident and successful.
American journalist, activist, author of six best-selling books Maria Shriver once said, “Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect; it makes you feel inadequate.”Often, we strive for perfection because we seek approval and praise from others.
Power posing is when we use our bodies, on purpose and with intent, to create powerful movements that are more spread out and take up more space, creating this message of confidence to ourselves and others.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Theodore RooseveltIf you are in the habit of comparing yourself to others, and a big majority of us are, it’s time to stop.
If you feel good about something you’ve done, enjoy it - you don’t need the recognition from others to affirm your accomplishments.
“The difference between successful people and others is how long they spend time feeling sorry for themselves.” - Barbara CorcoranIf you’re waking up every morning thinking about what went wrong the day before, you’re going about your career the wrong way.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”Like many other success stories, Roosevelt realized that she couldn’t choose who was happy with her and who wasn’t.

The orginal article.

Summary of “11 Powerful Mantras for Those Who’ve Lost Motivation”

When you feel like the world is against you, take a second and repeat one of these mantras.
Do you ever feel like you have nothing left to give to a project or task? Maybe you’ve been working on a book, a new business or even a relationship, but the motivation to keep pushing through the struggle seems to have disappeared.
A tried-and-true method for rediscovering motivation is repeating a mantra designed to inspire and rejuvenate you when you need it most.
Here are 11 powerful mantras that can be used to get you back on track and focused on the opportunities in front of you.
The people you spend the majority of your time with will have the biggest influence on your life.
Take an audit of the things in your life that you’re holding on to and assess whether they’re worth it.
It’s not the length of life, but the depth of life.
When you feel like the world is against you, take a second and repeat one of these mantras to get yourself back on track.

The orginal article.