Summary of “How to Grant Your Child an Inner Life”

So many of the worst nightmares of parenting start with a phone call: a child out of arm’s reach, not in the house, not in her bed.
There probably are teen-agers out there who could face an existential fear without a single Internet search, without texting or posting or sharing, who could cover their tracks sufficiently to prevent a determined parent from snooping, but I haven’t met any.
A motivated parent can give their young driver a car that shuts off the radio, won’t go above a certain speed, and sends text alerts home if the car goes outside a pre-approved area.
A movement for “Free-range parenting” has pushed back against this culture of obsessive supervision, which also criminalizes the dilemmas faced by single parents, two-career parents, and parents who don’t earn enough to pay for constant childcare.
Its leaders point out, among other things, that U.S. crime rates have fallen dramatically over the last twenty years, and it’s safer for children to be alone now than it was in the nineteen-seventies and eighties, when today’s parents were young.
Kids her age seem to accept, reluctantly, that the price of having a social life is having their parents one step away from everything they do, sharing the same accounts, playlists, search histories.
Anxious parenting is an optimization economy with no upper limit, which turns every second of a child’s life, in and out of school, into a commodity: from nanny-cams to high-impact strollers to Kumon to internship consultants to college-essay tutors, and it privileges those who have the least to worry about.
That kind of laissez-faire parenting, bordering on neglect, seems diametrically opposed to the hyperattentive parenting of my generation, but these approaches share one instructive point: they’re primarily concerned with how to succeed and how not to die.

The orginal article.

Summary of “‘Jennifer Aniston cried in my lap’: the inside story of Friends”

Twenty-five years on, Friends is still one of the most successful television shows of all time.
Before Friends became a cultural phenomenon, before the “Which friend are you?” quizzes, the layered haircuts and the cries of: “We were on a break!” – and before the show became a trusted companion on hungover days spent in bed – Friends was just another television pilot being tested for NBC executives in the hope of being picked up.
By the end of the 1994-1995 season, Friends is the eighth most-watched show on air.
In the two and a half decades since Friends first aired, the show has been continually rerun.
In recent years, critics have re-evaluated the show’s legacy, identifying problematic storylines and criticising Friends for its lack of diversity.
Now, 25 years since the show first aired, Friends is the most-streamed show in the UK, and perhaps even the most beloved TV show of all time.
Paget Brewster: A show like Friends was one in a million.
Aisha Tyler: There have been other shows that have advanced that concept of friends as chosen family, but Friends was just a perfect encapsulation of that idea.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Bitcoin, Snapchat, Drugs And Death: How A Woman Followed Two “UGNazi” Hackers’ Lies To Her Tragic Killing”

There, police found two disheveled young men: Woody and the other passenger, Mir Islam, also an American citizen.
Masters told a family member back in Indiana that Woody was concerned she might google him and discover his past with UGNazi.
According to Mitchell Weber, Masters told him that Woody and Islam had “Laundered bitcoin and sold drugs” and asked him not to tell anyone about it.
In one set of photo messages, Woody is sleeping under a blanket with his arm wrapped around a woman Komori described as a Filipino “Massage girl.” Woody and Islam may have spent some time working on Luxr, but they had gone to the Philippines, Komori said, “To party.”
Each man told police childishly far-fetched stories: Woody, that a box containing his girlfriend’s body had shown up outside his apartment and he had helped dispose of it without asking what was inside; and Islam, that he had simply waited outside his friend’s apartment for two and half hours while Woody wrapped Masters’ body, which he also claimed not to know was in the box.
The absence of strangulation marks on Masters’ neck contradicts Islam’s story about Woody choking her to death during sex.
How could anyone trust any story from or about him? At the same time, how could anyone trust any story from Troy Woody, who had been wearing masks and committing federal crimes since he was a child?
From a Manila jail cell, Islam and Woody had helped create such a toxic swirl of claims and counterclaims, impersonation, manipulation, suspicion, paranoia, and fear that we may never know the whole truth about Masters’ killing.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Facebook Block: I Cut Facebook Out of My Life. I Missed It”

Originally, I just planned to block myself from using Facebook the same way I’d blocked myself from using Amazon, by routing all my internet traffic through a virtual private network controlled by the technologist Dhruv Mehrotra, who is prohibiting my devices from communicating with the 122,880 IP addresses controlled by Facebook.
The Amazon block took out whole websites and services for me, but that’s not the case with Facebook, because it doesn’t control the building blocks of the internet.
The vast majority of Facebook’s requests are likely its attempts to track my movements around the web, via Like and Share buttons, Facebook Analytics, Facebook Ads, and Facebook Pixel.
Facebook Pixel, if you haven’t heard of it, is a little piece of code that a company can put on its website-say, on a particular sneaker page that you look at while signed into Facebook on your work computer.
Cutting Facebook out of my life is easy technically; Dhruv’s IP address block works well.
The first day of the Facebook block is Halloween, which is particularly hard because I can’t post cute photos of my 1-year-old, Ellev, dressed up as Boo from Monsters Inc. And I can’t find out what my friends are dressed as unless I individually text or email them, which is weird.
If you give up Facebook and all the companies it owns, you’re cut off from participating in your community, whatever your community may be.
Freedom From Facebook has been pushing the Federal Trade Commission to treat Facebook like a monopoly and break it up.

The orginal article.

Summary of “There Are Two Kinds of People: “Sorry” People and “Thank You” People”

My relationship with the words “I’m sorry” changed drastically last year in a crowded New York restaurant.
Haley, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Her well-intended apologies made me feel obligated to comfort her instead of bask in my own benevolence, which I’d have much preferred.
I wondered how the interaction might have gone had she thanked me profusely instead. “Sorry” and “Thank you” mean very different things, but they’re often used interchangeably in modern dialogue.
“Sorry I’m late” could also be “Thank you for waiting.” “Sorry to vent” could also be “Thank you for listening.” In these situations, both approaches endeavor to deliver the same point – acknowledgement of the other; communication of well intent – but they carry distinctly different tones.
A thank you, in contrast, is about the recipient and what they did right.
This leads to a kind of sheepishness around existing: sorry for brushing against you even though we’re on a crowded train; sorry for having a bad hair day; sorry for sneezing three times in a row.
A lot has been written on the internet about the virtue of replacing “Sorry” with “Thank you,” and most pieces focus on this exact “Empowerment” angle – the idea that skipping the apologies is a way of allowing yourself to take up space.
The “Thank you” transaction is about him, maybe even us; the “Sorry” is about me and my pain.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Reclaiming Friendship: A Visual Taxonomy of Platonic Relationships to Counter the Commodification of the Word “Friend””

Friendship, C.S. Lewis believed, “Like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” But the poetic beauty of this sentiment crumbles into untruth for anyone who has ever been buoyed from the pit of despair by the unrelenting kindness of a friend, or whose joys have been amplified by a friend’s warm willingness to bear witness.
During a recent interview on Think Again, I found myself concerned with the commodification of the word “Friend” in our culture.
We call “Friends” peers we barely know beyond the shallow roots of the professional connection, we mistake mere mutual admiration for friendship, we name-drop as “Friends” acquaintances associating with whom we feel reflects favorably on us in the eyes of others, thus rendering true friendship vacant of Emerson’s exacting definition.
We have perpetrated a corrosion of meaning by overusing the word and overextending its connotation, compressing into an imperceptible difference the vast existential expanse between mere acquaintanceship and friendship in the proper Aristotelian sense.
A friend is a person before whom we can strip our ideal self in order to reveal the real self, vulnerable and imperfect, and yet trust that it wouldn’t diminish the friend’s admiration and sincere affection for the whole self, comprising both the ideal and the real.
The friend is one who embraces both and has generous patience for the rift between the two.
A true friend holds us lovingly accountable to our own ideals, but is also able to forgive, over and over, the ways in which we fall short of them and can assure us that we are more than our stumbles, that we are shaped by them but not defined by them, that we will survive them with our personhood and the friendship intact.
Special thanks to my friend Wendy MacNaughton for the diagrammatic inspiration.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The year social networks were no longer social – TechCrunch”

Are social networks even social anymore? If you have a feeling of tech fatigue when you open the Facebook app, you’re not alone.
The concept of wide networks of social ties with an element of broadcasting is dead. From interest-based communities to your lousy neighbor.
As social networks become bigger, content becomes garbage.
One of the key pillars of social networks is the broadcasting feature.
Most social networks are now publicly traded companies – they’re always chasing growth.
There are two ways to make you spend more time on a social network – making you come back more often and making you stay longer each time you visit.
Social networks now want to direct you to other parts of the service.
In other words, as social networks become bigger, content becomes garbage.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Frauchiger-Renner Paradox Clarifies Where Our Views of Reality Go Wrong”

The choice of which assumption to give up has implications for our understanding of the quantum world and points to the possibility that quantum mechanics is not a universal theory, and so cannot be applied to complex systems such as humans.
The new experiment shows that, in a quantum world, two people can end up disagreeing about a seemingly irrefutable result, such as the outcome of a coin toss, suggesting something is amiss with the assumptions we make about quantum reality.
In standard quantum mechanics, a quantum system such as a subatomic particle is represented by a mathematical abstraction called the wave function.
More generally, a quantum system can be in a superposition of states, where “State” can refer to other properties, such as the spin of a particle.
Alice measures the state of her friend and her lab, treating all of it as one quantum system, and uses quantum theory to make predictions.
If you want to hold on to the assumption that quantum theory is universally applicable, and that measurements have only a single outcome, then you’ve got to let go of the remaining assumption, that of consistency: The predictions made by different agents using quantum theory will not be contradictory.
One possibility is that such an experiment will replicate the predictions of standard quantum mechanics even as quantum computers get more and more complex.
“Another alternative is that at some point while we develop these quantum computers, we hit the boundary of the superposition principle and [find] that actually quantum mechanics is not universal,” Gisin said.

The orginal article.

Summary of “O’Connor, Rehnquist And A Supreme Marriage Proposal”

O’Connor, Rehnquist And A Supreme Marriage Proposal The story of William Rehnquist’s marriage proposal to Sandra Day O’Connor, his Stanford Law School classmate, in the early 1950s has been unknown even to friends, colleagues and family – until now.
So it is with the story of the late Chief Justice William Rehnquist’s marriage proposal to a Stanford Law School classmate in the early 1950s.
When Rehnquist graduated a semester early and went off to Washington, D.C., for a Supreme Court clerkship, Sandra wrote to her parents that school “Does not seem the same” without him.
Just about the time that Day and O’Connor were going out on their 40th date in 40 days, Sandra got a letter from Rehnquist telling her he wanted to see her to talk about “Important things.” And in a March 29 letter, he popped the question.
Thomas, while doing his research, found the Rehnquist letters among O’Connor’s correspondence.
O’Connor’s son, Jay, says that he and his siblings were “Surprised,” though they knew their mother and Rehnquist had dated.
When Rehnquist went to Washington in the Nixon administration and was later appointed to the Supreme Court, the two stayed in touch.
Rehnquist is said to have been one of those who privately suggested O’Connor to President Reagan as a potential Supreme Court nominee in 1981.

The orginal article.

Summary of “What to Do When You Feel Let Down by Someone”

With my friend, these seemingly contradictory feelings were adding to my stress as I tried to come to terms with the change in our relationship.
To get a handle on what was happening, I decided to make a list of unhelpful responses to feeling let down by someone.
That’s okay, but instead of letting that anger brew and intensify, let yourself feel the sadness that underlies it.
Feeling happy for others is called mudita, or “Empathetic joy” in Buddhist practice.
It’s worth it because feeling happy for others makes you feel happy.
When you’re feeling sad or let down in some way, it helps to speak to yourself in a compassionate voice.
I hope you’ll try compassionate self-talk the next time you feel yourself on the verge of aiming judgmental thoughts at yourself.
It’s painful to feel let down by someone, but it happens to all of us.

The orginal article.