Summary of “Missing Hope: A Trio of Miscarriages, and What Happened After”

How do we begin to hope when hope has wrought crushing disappointment in our lives? Zack and I knew we wanted children.
A piece of paper we got at the hospital reassured me that the miscarriage was not my fault, no matter how much sex I had or how much exercise I did.
When we got home from that appointment, my husband and I laid on our bed underneath the comforter he had used in college and wailed, and I thought how unfair it was that that bedspread had outlived our child, and some but not all of my hope died, like depleting power in a video game.
Her grandmother had had seven miscarriages before giving birth to her father, something she said perhaps to empathize/perhaps to be kind/perhaps because it was a reflex and she had and said the same to any woman who walked through her door after a miscarriage.
Nothing brought me joy, because it is hard to have joy without hope, and I was killing my hope on a daily basis.
Life ends only in death, and why hadn’t I thought of that sooner, before we tried-really tried-to have a child? For extra credit in one of my college political science classes, we could memorize what Thomas Hobbes said about life outside of human society-“Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.” My parents traveled for work; my husband traveled for work; my mind went to work obsessively charting how their deaths would play out, how I would be left all alone, how this baby would die inside me and then I would die.
They don’t tell you how pregnancy allies your body against sanity, how it makes your heart beat faster-this is true; you are creating a new organ along with a baby and so, in order to increase your blood levels by half, your body makes more blood, which makes your heart pound-and how it makes your breathing shallower; how it makes you feel like a panic attack is always imminent.
“I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing,” T. S. Eliot wrote in “East Coker.” Eliot never gave birth.

The orginal article.

Summary of “25 Ways To Kill The Toxic Ego That Will Ruin Your Life – RyanHoliday.net”

So how do we keep this toxic ego and selfishness at bay? How do we prevent ego from “Sucking us down like the law of gravity?” The primary answer is simple: awareness.
Ego starts saying: it all must be done my way - even little things, even inconsequential things.
Martin Luther King understood that hate is like an “Eroding acid that eats away the best and the objective center of your life.” Hatred is when ego turns a minor insult into a massive sore and it lashes out.
If you let ego think that everyone is out to get you you will seem weakand then people will really try to take advantage of you.
Ego is sensitive about slights, insults and not getting their due.
One of the best strategists of the last century, John Boyd, would ask the promising young acolytes under him: “To be or to do? Which way will you go?” That is, will you choose to fall in love with the image of how success looks like or will you focus on a higher purpose? Will you pick obsessing over your title, number of fans, size of paycheck or on real, tangible accomplishment? You know which way ego wants to go.
If you can accept that you control only the effort that goes in and not the results which come out, you will be mastering your ego.
Ego wants to control everything - but it cannot control other people or their reactions.

The orginal article.

Summary of “New trailers: Ant-Man and The Wasp, Robin Hood, and more”

I’ve missed most of the core Avengers saga, but there’s still a lot of fun to be had watching the more disconnected films in the MCU. Guardians is particularly accessible, thanks to how completely removed it is – and just how tonally it feels like its own thing.
The studio put out a full-length trailer for Ant-Man and The Wasp this week, and it’s all about showing what the duo’s fights will look like – with plenty of jokes thrown in between.
It comes out July 6th. Robin Hood In the vein of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes and King Arthur, Lionsgate is coming out with a fast-paced, action-packed take on Robin Hood.
Kingsman star Taron Egerton plays Robin Hood, while Jamie Foxx takes on the role of Little John.
It comes out June 15th. Whitney A new documentary takes a look at the life and career of Whitney Houston.
It comes out July 6th. Pose Here’s the first real look at Pose, the new FX series from Ryan Murphy that focuses on ball culture in 1980s New York.
The show starts June 3rd. Castle Rock Hulu put out a new teaser for its Stephen King mashup series Castle Rock this week.
The show debuts July 25th. Manhunt Netflix has a new John Woo film coming up, and all I’ll add for context here is that, in its review, The Film Stage called it “The most John Woo movie possible.” So enjoy.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Theodore Roosevelt on the Cowardice of Cynicism and the Courage to Create Rather Than Criticize – Brain Pickings”

“There is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic,” Maya Angelou wrote in contemplating courage in the face of evil, “Because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.”
The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer.
There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement.
The rôle is easy; there is none easier, save only the rôle of the man who sneers alike at both criticism and performance.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat The man who does nothing cuts the same sordid figure in the pages of history, whether he be a cynic, or fop, or voluptuary.
There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion, of the high pride, the stern belief, the lofty enthusiasm, of the men who quell the storm and ride the thunder.
Complement this particular fragment with Leonard Bernstein on the countercultural courage of resisting cynicism, Goethe on the only criticism worth voicing, and philosopher Daniel Dennett on how to criticize with kindness, then revisit Eleanor Roosevelt on how uncynical personal conviction powers social change.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Strategic Mind of Ali Wong”

With a romantic comedy co-starring Randall Park in the works and a memoir structured as a series of letters to her daughters being published by Random House next year, Ms. Wong is about to join the A-list, a club that few women or Asian-American stand-ups are let into.
After she finished her set to loud applause Ms. Wong drove home, pumped some milk for her baby, went to sleep and woke up at 7 a.m. to breast-feed, while her husband, Justin Hakuta, took care of their 2-1/2-year-old daughter.
There hadn’t been another until the current ABC series “Fresh Off the Boat,” for which Ms. Wong wrote.
There have been signs of a growing Asian-American comedy audience, said the stand-up Sheng Wang, who points to the success of the popular U.C.B. variety show “Asian AF” in both Los Angeles and New York as well as that of Ms. Wong.
When asked why there have been so few Asian stand-up stars, Ms. Wong hesitated, avoiding the question.
The first time Ms. Wong became pregnant, she confessed, she was so worried that her husband would not love their child that she gave the baby a Japanese first name and his last name.
It’s a notable admission, particularly since at the same time Ms. Wong was taping “Baby Cobra,” which sharply attacked how our culture has such low expectations for fathers.
An earlier version of this article misstated Ali Wong’s status with the series “Fresh Off the Boat.” She used to write for it; she is not currently a writer on it.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The 7 Habits: Begin With the End in Mind”

Because it distills what you ultimately value in life – or at least what you want to value – and what you hope it all adds up to in the end.
When we know how we want people to talk about us at the end of our life, we can start taking action now to make that scenario a reality later.
Those goals aren’t “Bad,” but you’ve probably adopted them mindlessly, and you’ll end up pursuing them merely as things to knock off on a checklist, without thought as to whether they’re what you want, and what difference they’ll make in your character – in who you want to be.
All his life Tolstoy, like Ilyich, strived for status, money, and security – résumé virtues – but it was only when he faced the specter of his death that he realized his great existential mistake.
You have to replace what you’ve been told to center your life on with timeless and unchanging principles and virtues that you want to embody.
Thinking about your general values can be a little abstract; they’re easier to grasp if you think about how you want them to influence the specific actions and spheres of your life.
Write out what values you want to embody in that role and what you want the people you affect in that role to say about you when you’re dead. Be as idealistic as you want.
Just as lawmakers and judges turn to the U.S. Constitution first when making decisions, you should turn to your personal constitution before you make big decisions in your life.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How Your Brain Can Trick You Into Trusting People”

In other words, your brain can instinctively trust people simply because they sound as if they know what they’re talking about.
Khalil Smith at Strategy & Business wrote a fascinating story on the topic a few months ago, in which he cited a study that showed that “Airtime” – how much someone talks – “Is a stronger indicator of perceived influence than actual expertise.”
Put another way, “Whom we trust is not only a reflection of who is trustworthy, but also a reflection of who we are,” researchers wrote in a 2011 study that examined how our unconscious biases affect which people we choose to trust.
We can also train ourselves to be more attentive to signs that we’re placing trust in someone just because we perceive them to be trustworthy or knowledgeable.
Most important: Learn to catch yourself and take a step back when you notice that you’re going along with people who only feel authoritative – either because they project confidence or dominate the conversation – and ask yourself whether they truly are trustworthy.
First, relentlessly seek outside input – oftentimes that can be as simple as asking a friend, “Is my trust misplaced here?” Second, never stop learning, because the more knowledgeable you are about something, the more likely you are to know when someone’s faking it.
How to Tell a Story The stories we tell are how we know who we are.
What We’re Reading How big should your emergency fund be?

The orginal article.

Summary of “Copenhagen Architect Jan Gehl Takes on Smart Cities”

Architect and planner Jan Gehl looks back on how he helped transform Copenhagen into one of the world’s most livable cities and talks about how people can reclaim the streets.
Bringing hard data is the only way the government will listen, according to Jan Gehl, the pioneering Danish architect, urbanist, and planner who helped turn Copenhagen into one of the world’s most livable cities over the past 50 years.
In a conversation with Annette Becker and Lessano Negussie, the curators of the new exhibit “Ride a Bike! Reclaim the City,” now open at the Deutsches Architekturmuseum in Frankfurt, Germany, Gehl discusses his observations and philosophies of how cities can become as bike-friendly, people-friendly, and climate-friendly as Copenhagen famously is.
One of the cities that has done the most is Copenhagen.
Since 2009, the Copenhagen city council has adopted a strategy saying: “We will be the best city for people in the world.” That means the entire city should be organized so that it becomes more convenient, comfortable, and safe for people to walk.
One of the reasons Copenhagen has gone so far with public spaces and bicycles is that we at the school of architecture at the University of Copenhagen started to study back in the 1960s how people use the city, and we became the world’s center for these kinds of studies.
The cities knew everything about traffic and nothing about people, and how and why people use the city.
What we have done in Copenhagen is to make the people who use the city visible and to document what is going on: Where people go, how many there are, how long they sit on benches, how many café chairs we have.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Looking in the Wrong Places”

It’s a similar problem with the incompatibility between non-relativistic quantum mechanics and special relativity that led to the development of quantum field theory.
If we are working with the wrong theories, we are making the wrong extrapolations, we have the wrong expectations, we make the wrong experiments, and then we don’t get any new data.
There are various reasons for why we expect effects of quantum gravity to also be accessible at much lower energies: There could be relics from quantum gravitational effects in the early universe that are imprinted in the cosmic microwave background-that’s a very simple example.
We’re often told that it’s hard to measure quantum gravitational effects because gravity is such a weak force, and the quantum effects of gravity are even weaker.
More precisely, we should say that the reason we find it so hard to measure quantum gravitational effects is that we either have a particle that has very pronounced quantum properties, like, say, a single electron or something like that, but then it’s so light that we cannot measure the gravitational field.
For me the question is, can you go and test them? Do they make some predictions that you can go and look for? This experiment that I was talking about, where you might be able to measure the gravitational field of some heavy quantum object, it does not measure the strong field limit of gravity, which is where it would be the easiest to distinguish between different approaches to quantum gravity; it measures the weak field limit.
They’re like, “Oh, but this would only be the weak limit of quantum gravity.” I can only respond by saying, “But it would be quantum gravity. It will be the first evidence for quantum gravity. It would make this field a real science if we could go and measure it.” It’s not uninteresting in contrast to what some people seem to believe, because in different approaches to quantum gravity this limit could look different, and we could go and measure it.
On a certain level, even though it’s my personal interest, I realize that for most of the people on the planet making progress in quantum gravity is not that terribly important.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Manage an Insecure Employee”

“The challenge is that insecure people are so concerned with how they look and how they are perceived that they either fail to solicit critical feedback or completely ignore it when it’s given. And this robs them of the opportunity to improve.” Your interpersonal relationships with insecure employees also tend to be more complicated, says Mary Shapiro, a professor at Simmons College School of Management and the author of HBR Guide to Leading Teams.
One of the biggest challenges of overseeing an insecure employee is the impact on your ability to manage your team’s workload, says Shapiro.
Give your employee “An inventory of what he or she is good at.” She recommends saying something like, “Let me remind you of how well you did the last time you gave a presentation. You handed out summaries of the PowerPoint. You practiced beforehand. And you and I role-played so that you were prepared for any question the client could throw at you.” Your objective, according to Burris, is to “Coach your employees on how to leverage their strengths by reminding them of times they excelled and felt competent.” Precise and detailed compliments “When given in an authentic way” can help to “Build up” your employee’s self-esteem.
It’s often beneficial to pair your insecure employee with a peer who has “Complementary skills,” says Shapiro.
Partnering colleagues to work on specific projects helps them each “Develop new abilities” and learn how best “To support each other.” You might also consider asking your insecure employee to be a “Mentor or coach” to another team member.
Managing a chronically insecure employee is challenging but you must try not to let your frustration show.
Assign your insecure employee to be a mentor or coach to another team member.
Several years ago when Ben worked as the Chief Marketing Officer for Econation – a clean tech company he co-founded, he managed an insecure employee, who we’ll call Angela.

The orginal article.