Summary of “The Real Roots of Midlife Crisis”

Part of the answer likely involves what researchers call selection bias: unhappier people tend to die sooner, removing themselves from the sample.
A common hypothesis, and one that seems right to me, is alluded to by Carstensen and her colleagues in their 2011 paper: “As people age and time horizons grow shorter,” they write, “People invest in what is most important, typically meaningful relationships, and derive increasingly greater satisfaction from these investments.” Midlife is, for many people, a time of recalibration, when they begin to evaluate their lives less in terms of social competition and more in terms of social connectedness.
In my 40s, I found I was obsessively comparing my life with other people’s: scoring and judging myself, and counting up the ways in which I had fallen behind in a race.
Carstensen told me, “When the future becomes less distant, more constrained, people focus on the present, and we think that’s better for emotional experience. The goals that are chronically activated in old age are ones about meaning and savoring and living for the moment.” These are exactly the changes that K. and others in my own informal research sample reported.
“As people perceive the future as increasingly constrained, they set goals that are more realistic and easy to pursue.” For me, the expectation of scaling ever greater heights has faded, and with it my sense of disappointment and failure.
He used a German longitudinal survey, with data from 1991 to 2004, that, unusually, asked people about both their current life satisfaction and their expected satisfaction five years hence.
To his own surprise, he found the same result regardless of respondents’ economic status, generation, and even whether they lived in western or eastern Germany: younger people consistently and markedly overestimated how satisfied they would be five years later, while older people underestimated future satisfaction.
What’s more, Schwandt found that in between those two periods, during middle age, people experienced a sort of double whammy: satisfaction with life was declining, but expectations were also by then declining.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life”

The idea of a “True self” and a “False” or “Shadow” self has long preoccupied psychologists.
Donald Winnicott elaborated on the idea of the “True self” and “False self.” He explained that beginning in infancy, all of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develop a defensive structure that may evolve into a “False self.” He suggests that if our basic needs are not acknowledged-not mirrored back to us by our parents-we may presume they are unimportant.
In our efforts to please others, we hide and deny our “True self,” which in turn leads to self-estrangement.
If that’s the case, the “False self” will get the upper hand.
If there is too great a discrepancy between the “True” and the “False” self, it will make for a vulnerable sense of identity.
In her case, the tension between “False self” and “True self” came to a head, contributing to a renewal of the confusion she had experienced at an earlier stage of life.
Not living a full, complete life-not integrating these other parts of herself, call it her shadow or negative identity-turned out to be extremely draining, contributing to life choices that didn’t accommodate her real needs.
Although a person might view these parts of herself as a representation of her unlived life, a delayed identity crisis can also contain the seeds of psychological renewal-the motivation to enter new directions in life.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Over the Rooftops, Under the Moon: A Lyrical Illustrated Meditation on Loneliness, Otherness, and the Joy of Belonging Found – Brain Pickings”

“You can be lonely anywhere, but there is a particular flavour to the loneliness that comes from living in a city, surrounded by millions of people,” Olivia Laing wrote in her lyrical exploration of loneliness and the search for belonging.
Our need for belonging is indeed the warp thread of our humanity, and our locus of belonging – determined in part by our choices and in part by the cards chance has dealt us in what we were born as and where – is a pillar of our identity.
For those who have migrated far from their homeland, and especially for those of us who have migrated alone, without the built-in social support structure of a community or a family unit, this rupture of belonging can be particularly disorienting and lonesome-making.
“You only are free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place,” Maya Angelou told Bill Moyers in their fantastic 1973 conversation about freedom – a freedom the conquest of which can be a whole life’s work.
Poet JonArno Lawson, author of the wondrous Sidewalk Flowers, and artist Nahid Kazemi take up these complex questions with great simplicity and thoughtful sensitivity in Over the Rooftops, Under the Moon – a spare, uncommonly poetic meditation on belonging and what it means to be oneself as both counterpoint and counterpart to otherness, as a thinking, feeling, wakeful atom of life amid the constellation of other atoms.
One day, something subtle but profound shifts in the bird – the gaze of a young girl sparks a quickening of heart, a certain opening to the possibility of belonging, a new curiosity about the nature of life – about what it means to be.
In this foreign-looking land, which Kazemi’s palm trees and Middle Eastern architecture contrast with the deciduous crowns and Western cityscapes of the melancholy world, the bird finds a homecoming among other birds – a newfound joy in being “Alone and together, over the rooftops and under the moon.”
For a grownup counterpart, revisit Alfred Kazin on loneliness and the immigrant experience and Amin Maalouf on belonging and how we inhabit our identity.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Pick a Career”

This post isn’t me giving you career advice really-it’s a framework that I think can help you make career decisions that actually reflect who you are, what you want, and what our rapidly changing career landscape looks like today.
The particulars of your career also often play a big role in determining where you live, how flexible your life is, the kinds of things you’re able to do in your free time, and sometimes even in who you end up marrying.
On top of your career being the way you spend much of your time and the means of support for the rest of your time, your career triples as your primary mode of impact-making.
In the cook-chef post, I designed a simple framework for how a chef makes major career choices.
The overlapping area contains your good career path choices-good arrows to draw on your Career Map.
For a career option to qualify for your Reality Box, your potential in that career area has to measure up to the objective difficulty of achieving success in that area.
If you can figure out how to get a reasonably accurate picture of the real career landscape out there, you have a massive edge over everyone else, most of whom will be using conventional wisdom as their instruction booklet.
Eric Barker’s blog is full of actual data that can help with career choices, like this post on what makes a career fulfilling or this one on the importance of mentors.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Tunde Wey Profile: The Chef Who Charges Black and White Customers Different Prices”

Because of his legal status, Wey was doing most of his traveling by Greyhound bus, thus avoiding airports.
Almost 20 hours into the trip, not far from Las Cruces, New Mexico, Wey was sitting in the back, zoning out and listening to music.
“Should I lie?” Wey asked himself as the cop got closer.
Standing there in the desert, Wey was suddenly overcome by chills.
Wey’s unpreparedness for the eventuality of being detained was, in part, his own brand of optimistic flakiness, but it was also a necessary accommodation faced by millions every day: It’s precisely because you can be picked up at any time, ending life as you know it in an instant, that it’s impossible to keep that fact constantly in mind without going mad. “What preparation could I do?” Wey says.
On Wey’s first night in detention, his biggest fear was physical violence.
“He’s going to get fucked in prison,” someone whispered to Wey about a fellow detainee.
Finally, after 20 days, Wey was brought before a judge who would decide whether he would be allowed to post bond while awaiting a hearing.

The orginal article.

Summary of “A List Of 8 Core Values I Live By”

Your core values are the result of your behavior.
We collectively underestimate the importance of values.
We think our values have everything to do with how we are perceived.
Since you have to live with yourself, your values should be one of the most important things in your life.
What if you don’t have values? Or what if you’ve never thought about setting your own core values? There are great risks involved with living without values.
Before you know it, you adopt the values of other people.
That’s why recently sat down to define my own personal core values to get things straight for myself.
Never copy someone else’s values or search for “Core values list” on Google.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The girl who was never meant to survive”

For Rob, Haven returning to Vietnam is an important part of her journey.
The Shepherds plan to visit after the 2020 Games “To get that sense of where Haven actually comes from and what her parents were like”, Rob says.
Haven’s focus is on her 16th birthday.
Since Haven was adopted, she and Shelly have been almost constantly by each other’s side.
Every day they travel for an hour together to swimming practice, but Haven will soon be able to drive herself.
When Haven reflects on her dramatic start in life, she says she feels no resentment towards her biological parents.
She says she uses her extraordinary story of survival as an inspiration.
“I definitely see that circumstance as a real reason why you shouldn’t just be moping around your whole life.”

The orginal article.

Summary of “What to Eat to Live to 100”

I aspire to live an incredibly long, happy, and healthy life.
The book is fantastic and I highly recommend it for anyone who is looking to live a longer, happier life.
Food Guidelines to Live By:.95% of your food should be plant-based.
Knowing your sense of purpose, or reason for living, has been shown to add up to 7 years of life expectancy.
Attending faith-based services 4 times per month has been shown to add 4-14 years to your life.
Committing to a life partner can add up to 3 years of life expectancy.
Here’s to a long, happy, healthy, and fulfilling life!
Rew Merle writes about living well, including good habits for happiness, health, productivity, and success.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Picture of U.S. Route 50, the loneliest road in America”

Where the state of Nevada folds in half-from the elbow on its western arm at Lake Tahoe across to its Utah border-you’ll find the most direct route across the state.
The public relations director at the time saw an opportunity in the article and released a Highway 50 survival guide the same month the Life article came out, rewarding visitors to the area with a certificate of survival signed by the governor.
Highway signs touting the qualifier went up along the route at the same time, and it graduated from opinion to slogan.
Before it was known as the Loneliest Road in America, Route 50 was anything but.
According to the Highway 50 Association, the Roaring Road became so congested at times that hopeful miners and their families would have to wait days before they could access it-a Panama Canal of sorts, standing between the new frontier and the old.
That sort of isolation follows Route 50 for almost the entirety of its 400 miles across Nevada, but it’s particularly pronounced along this stretch, the 287 miles between Ely and Fernley designated by Life as the Loneliest Road. Here, you can’t count on cell service or gas stations, on places to eat or even people to wave at as you pass-anything to replace the eeriness of the hungry red desert around you.
“From an economic development standpoint, we’re not considered rural,” says Dee Helming, chairwoman of the Pony Express Territory, which works with the state tourism authority to promote the towns along Route 50.
Perhaps, thought Svold, the Loneliest Road in America isn’t so lonely after all.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Why I Hope to Die at 75”

So I am not talking about bargaining with God to live to 75 because I have a terminal illness.
I am talking about how long I want to live and the kind and amount of health care I will consent to after 75.
The claim is that with longer life, an ever smaller proportion of our lives will be spent in a state of decline.
It tells us exactly what we want to believe: that we will live longer lives and then abruptly die with hardly any aches, pains, or physical deterioration-the morbidity traditionally associated with growing old.
Although he didn’t die from the heart attack, no one would say he is living a vibrant life.
At age 75 we reach that unique, albeit somewhat arbitrarily chosen, moment when we have lived a rich and complete life, and have hopefully imparted the right memories to our children.
Certainly if there were to be a flu pandemic, a younger person who has yet to live a complete life ought to get the vaccine or any antiviral drugs.
Is making money, chasing the dream, all worth it? Indeed, most of us have found a way to live our lives comfortably without acknowledging, much less answering, these big questions on a regular basis.

The orginal article.