Summary of “He’s Vietnamese. She’s From North Korea. They Had To Wait 3 Decades To Marry”

The two are sitting on the sofa in their modest, Soviet-era apartment in Hanoi, speaking of the time back in the early 1970s when they first spotted each other working at a fertilizer plant in North Korea.
Canh remembers taking a trip to North Korea in the late 1970s and sending Ri a letter, asking her to meet.
As relations between the countries started to improve in the late 1980s, he started a personal charm offensive to, as he says, “Build my personal credit with North Korea.”
He set up a Vietnam-North Korea friendship committee, raised money for a 7-ton donation of rice and reached out to North Korean contacts in Hanoi.
In 2001, he made an audacious move, using connections in the Foreign Ministry to deliver a letter pleading his case to Vietnam’s president – who was about to leave on a state visit to North Korea.
“I’ve done all I can. But I knew in my heart that North Korea would say yes.”
In late 2002, after the couple had waited 30 years, North Korea took the rare step of allowing one of its citizens to marry a foreigner.
“That U.S.-North Korean relationship gets better, and that the U.S. lifts sanctions and helps North Korea so that North Korea can develop.”

The orginal article.

Summary of “How the Five “Love Languages” Can Help You Win at Relationships”

That’s sort of the idea behind the concept of love languages: they let you in on what makes your partner tick.
The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can seriously help your relationship.
His book, Five Love Languages, is admittedly full of cheesy truisms, and it sounds like a bad quiz you’d take in Cosmo.
My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages-five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.
Within the five basic emotional love languages, there are many dialects….The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.
Beyond fighting less, the concept of love languages is a great for maintaining the relationship, too.
Business Strategist Marie Forleo says the love languages concept is her “Secret weapon” in maintaining a happy team.
Love languages can’t fix everything, of course.

The orginal article.

Summary of “”They’re more attractive than real boyfriends.” Inside the weird world of Chinese romance video games”

“The men in the game are more attractive than real boyfriends,” says one fan, who asked not to be named.
Considering how many TV shows, movies and novels feature romance as an integral part of their story, it’s strange how romantic games are still relatively uncommon.
Lovingly crafted though they were, this doesn’t contradict the opinion that video games are not a medium well-suited to romance and that the genre is better explored through more passive mediums.
“There’s a wonderful new generation of players and developers alike who want something deeper, something more, something that’s more meaningful than ‘pew pew’ and ‘vroom vroom'”, says Heidi McDonald, an American game designer and author of Digital Love: Romance and Sexuality in Games.
Many games present simple, mechanistic approaches to their romance.
In many ways, video games offer the ultimate wish fulfilment.
“There’s this police officer, he’s always there when you need him, whenever you have a dangerous situation. This doesn’t happen in real life, you can’t rely on a guy like this. He will not always be there when you need him. That’s a female fantasy”, says Yan.In China and the West, games are finally grappling with the complex themes of love and romance.
Advertisement – Inside the strange world of China’s romantic video games.

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Summary of “Bite-sized: 50 great short stories, chosen by Hilary Mantel, George Saunders and more”

It is a much deeper and more biblical story than that and, like any great work of art, resists reduction.
A wonderful sampling of her stories is available in Women in Their Beds: New & Selected Stories.
Among the handful of short stories closest to my heart, I’ve chosen “The Love of a Good Woman” by Canadian writer Munro, from her 1998 collection of that name.
William Trevor has influenced me more than any other writer, and it’s impossible for me to name one story by him that is an absolute favourite.
Key to a great short story is the tension and torsion created within each sentence.
Before her wedding day, as Machado expertly builds the atmosphere of foreboding, the narrator notes that, “Brides never fare well in stories. Stories can sense happiness and snuff it out like a candle”.
Maupassant, probably the only short-story writer as influential as Chekhov, wrote in two modes: short, impressively constructed but one-dimensional stories with trick endings, and longer, more interesting work.
Narayan, who wrote more than 200 short stories, called them “Concentrated miniatures of human experience in all its opulence”.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Every Successful Relationship Is Successful for the Same Exact Reasons”

Why not crowdsource THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP GUIDE TO END ALL RELATIONSHIP GUIDES™ from the sea of smart and savvy partners and lovers here?
“You are absolutely not going to be absolutely gaga over each other every single day for the rest of your lives, and all this ‘happily ever after’ bullshit is just setting people up for failure. They go into relationships with these unrealistic expectations. Then, the instant they realize they aren’t ‘gaga’ anymore, they think the relationship is broken and over, and they need to get out. No! There will be days, or weeks, or maybe even longer, when you aren’t all mushy-gushy in-love. You’re even going to wake up some morning and think,”Ugh, you’re still here.
A couple years ago, I discovered that I was answering the vast majority of these relationship emails with the exact same response.
Just as causing pain to your muscles allows them to grow back stronger, often introducing some pain into your relationship through vulnerability is the only way to make the relationship stronger.
Every relationship requires each person to consciously choose to give something up at times.
Generally, the more uncomfortable we are with our own worthiness in the relationship and to be loved, the more we will try to control the relationship and our partner’s behaviors.
A similar concept seems to be true in relationships: your perfect partner is not someone who creates no problems in the relationship, rather your perfect partner is someone who creates problems in the relationship that you feel good about dealing with.
Sex not only keeps the relationship healthy, many readers suggested that they use it to heal their relationships.

The orginal article.

Summary of “This Year Looks A Lot Like The 1976 Democratic Primary. What Does That Mean For 2020?”

“What Jimmy Carter has thought is that many people are turned off by the old politics, Watergate, stress, issues, and now,” Sally Quinn wrote at the time, “They simply want to make it through the night.”
Carter’s campaign recognized early on, the New York Times wrote, that though there might “Be passing moments of interest in other concepts,” one subsumed all others: “The issue of integrity” – and “The most successful candidates would base their pursuits on that foundation.” A decade later, Jerry Rafshoon, Carter’s TV ad maker, told the New Republic that the basis for the campaign’s materials – an array of gentle PBS-looking clips – was Carter’s existing message.
“We looked at the footage we had, and these were the lines that were capturing audiences. Who came up with it? Jimmy Carter the candidate,” he said.
Thus, in ads and on the trail: Jimmy Carter spent a lot of time talking about love.
Despite cratering the word “Liberal” for a quarter century, during the actual campaign, Carter frustrated a wide array of Democrats and reporters by eluding ideological categorization.
Today, there’s a clear echo of the Carter language in Cory Booker’s vague but effusive “Conspiracy of love.” Booker loves to talk about love and compassion, to post memes about realizing one’s inner possibilities, to a Carteresque degree.
Though Carter’s campaign autobiography Why Not the Best? opens with quotes from Reinhold Niebuhr, Bob Dylan, and Dylan Thomas, it is a straightforward account of growing up poor on a working farm.
“I’m for Jimmy Carter,” musician Percy Sledge said during a campaign event, “Because he’s got his shit together.” The candidate of love also volunteered lines like, about Richard Nixon, “I despise the bastard, but I pray that he will find peace.”

The orginal article.

Summary of “50 Ways To Live On Your Own Terms”

Research done by economists have found - even after controlling for age, education, and other demographics - that married people make 10 to 50 percent more than single people.
Say “No” to people, obligations, requests, and opportunities you’re not interested in from now on”No more yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! or no.” - Derek Sivers.
According to neuroscience research, the more you express love, the more other people feel love for you.
Make friends with five people who inspire you”Surround yourself with people who remind you more of your future than your past.” - Dan Sullivan.
Even more fundamental is: what types of people are you comfortable around?
Unless you live in a big city, I’m baffled how many people pay outlandish amounts on rent each month.
Instead of living life on their own terms, they’d rather respond to other people’s agendas.
According to psychological research, people who make their bed in the morning are happier and more successful than those who don’t.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Find Your Purpose and Do What You Love”

LEWIS HYDE ON WORK VS. LABORAfter last year’s omnibus of 5 timeless books on fear and the creative process, a number of readers rightfully suggested an addition: Lewis Hyde’s 1979 classic, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, of which David Foster Wallace famously said, “No one who is invested in any kind of art can read The Gift and remain unchanged.”
Welding car bodies on an assembly line is work; washing dishes, computing taxes, walking the rounds in a psychiatric ward, picking asparagus – these are work.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has a term for the quality that sets labor apart from work: flow – a kind of intense focus and crisp sense of clarity where you forget yourself, lose track of time, and feel like you’re part of something larger.
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
ROBERT KRULWICH ON FRIENDS. Robert Krulwich, co-producer of WNYC’s fantastic Radiolab, author of the ever-illuminating Krulwich Wonders and winner of a Peabody Award for broadcast excellence, is one of the finest journalists working today.
You will build a body of work, but you will also build a body of affection, with the people you’ve helped who’ve helped you back.
If you can fall in love, with the work, with people you work with, with your dreams and their dreams.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Love After Life: Nobel-Winning Physicist Richard Feynman’s Extraordinary Letter to His Departed Wife”

Few people have enchanted the popular imagination with science more powerfully and lastingly than physicist Richard Feynman – the “Great Explainer” with the uncommon gift for bridging the essence of science with the most human and humane dimensions of life.
Several months after Feynman’s death, while working on what would become Genius: The Life and Science of Richard Feynman – the masterly biography plumbing the wellspring of Feynman’s genius – James Gleick discovered something of arresting strangeness and splendor.
Richard refused to go along with the deception – he and Arline had promised each other to face life with unremitting truthfulness – but he was forced to calibrate his commitment to circumstance.
Richard was buoyed by love – a love so large and luminous that he found himself singing aloud one day as he was arranging Arline’s transfer to a sanatorium.
Tasked with abating any breaches to the secrecy of the operation, they cautioned Feynman that coded messages were against the rules and demanded that his wife include a key in each letter to help them decipher it.
The levity masked the underlying darkness which Richard and Arline tried so desperately to evade – Arline was dying.
In early 1945, two and a half years into their marriage, Richard and Arline made love for the first time.
Complement this particular portion of the altogether magnificent Genius: The Life and Science of Richard Feynman with Rachel Carson’s stunning deathbed farewell to her beloved and Seneca on resilience in the face of loss, then revisit Feynman on science and religion and the meaning of life.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Alain de Botton on Love, Vulnerability, and the Psychological Paradox of the Sulk”

“Why is love rich beyond all other possible human experiences and a sweet burden to those seized in its grasp?” philosopher Martin Heidegger asked in his electrifying love letters to Hannah Arendt.
“Because we become what we love and yet remain ourselves.” Still, nearly every anguishing aspect of love arises from the inescapable tension between this longing for transformative awakening and the sleepwalking selfhood of our habitual patterns.
The multiple sharp-edged facets of this question are what Alain de Botton explores in The Course of Love – a meditation on the beautiful, tragic tendernesses and fragilities of the human heart, at once unnerving and assuring in its psychological insightfulness.
A sequel of sorts to his 1993 novel On Love, the book is bold bending of form that fuses fiction and De Botton’s supreme forte, the essay – twined with the narrative thread of the romance between the two protagonists are astute observations at the meeting point of psychology and philosophy, spinning out from the particular problems of the couple to unravel broader insight into the universal complexities of the human heart.
As the book progresses, one gets the distinct and surprisingly pleasurable sense that De Botton has sculpted the love story around the robust armature of these philosophical meditations; that the essay is the raison d’être for the fiction.
In one of these contemplative interstitials, De Botton examines the paradoxical psychology of one of the most common and most puzzling phenomena between lovers: sulking.
The sulker may be six foot one and holding down adult employment, but the real message is poignantly retrogressive: “Deep inside, I remain an infant, and right now I need you to be my parent. I need you correctly to guess what is truly ailing me, as people did when I was a baby, when my ideas of love were first formed.”
Complement it with philosopher Erich Fromm on what is keeping us from mastering the art of loving, sociologist Eva Illouz on why love hurts, and Anna Dostoyevsky on the secret to a happy marriage, then revisit De Botton on the seven psychological functions of art and what philosophy is for.

The orginal article.