Summary of “Going against the decluttering craze: the book hoarders who defy Marie Kondo”

Of course, there was a backlash to the backlash, with the expected explanation from Kondo that not all books gotta go.
On the coffee table at the moment are coffee table books: The History of Rap, the book Author: The Portraits of Beowulf Sheehan, which I’m thankfully featured in.
I’m still trying to figure out how she wrote a book that spans 25 years in only 25,000 words.
For 35 years, there was a bright pink bookstore in my town called Remarkable Book Shop.
I’m now able to get rid of books much more easily knowing they’re going to a good home.
If I’m writing about dinosaurs, I’ll have every single book about dinosaurs already in the same section – children’s books, history books, comic books.
It’s a book from a chef in Spain, from the 1890s.
What 30 books does Ms Kondo keep? Are they the same books or does she rotate them? I’d be fascinated to know.

The orginal article.

Summary of “On Breakups”

To talk about the magic trick of pace-of suggesting a big moment only to later reveal an even bigger moment-I play the iconic video of the Who performing “Baba O’Riley.” The one you’ve maybe seen, where the intro swells and swells until it feels like it could fill an entire stadium, and you might think, How can we ever climb atop this? But then Pete Townshend tosses his tambourine, steps back from the microphone, and windmills his arm around his guitar and shakes his ass in white pants while Roger Daltrey holds a microphone to the heavens with both hands.
All of the instruments drop out for about fifteen seconds and all that remains is the layering of voices, singing out “Just know / that I want you / back” before the drums enter and the song rebuilds itself from the vocals up.
To want someone back after a breakup has been a trope of popular music for as long as I’ve been alive, and for decades before I was even a thought.
Player on “Baby Come Back,” or Toni on “Unbreak My Heart,” or countless others.
If someone has done you wrong-and I mean truly done you wrong-there can be shame in wanting that person back.
The HAIM song “Want You Back” came out in early May 2017, while I was making the post-breakup move from New Haven, Connecticut, back to Columbus, Ohio.
The music video for “Want You Back” is a single, long take, by director Jake Schreier.
As the song hits its groove, so do the Haim sisters, each of them occasionally breaking out into a small dance move or two before falling back into step.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Elizabeth Gilbert on Love, Loss, and How to Move Through Grief as Grief Moves Through You”

One need not be a dry materialist to bow before the recognition that no heart goes through life unplundered by loss – all love presupposes it, be it in death or in heartbreak.
Whether what is lost are feelings or atoms, grief comes, unforgiving and unpredictable in its myriad manifestations.
How to move through this barely survivable experience is what author and altogether glorious human being Elizabeth Gilbert examines with uncommon insight and tenderness of heart in her conversation with TED curator Chris Anderson on the inaugural episode of the TED Interviews podcast.
There is a humility that you have to step into, where you surrender to being moved through the landscape of grief by grief itself.
Secondly, in the moments of my life when I have fallen in love, I have just as little power over it as I do in grief.
The only way that I can “Handle” Grief is the same way that I “Handle” Love – by not “Handling” it.
How do you survive the tsunami of Grief? By being willing to experience it, without resistance.
Grief says to me: “You will never love anyone the way you loved Rayya.” And I reply: “I am willing for that to be true.” Grief says: “She’s gone, and she’s never coming back.” I reply: “I am willing for that to be true.” Grief says: “You will never hear that laugh again.” I say: “I am willing.” Grief says, “You will never smell her skin again.” I get down on the floor on my fucking knees, and – and through my sheets of tears – I say, “I AM WILLING.” This is the job of the living – to be willing to bow down before EVERYTHING that is bigger than you.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Epictetus on Love and Loss: The Stoic Strategy for Surviving Heartbreak”

“Future love does not exist,” Tolstoy wrote in contemplating the paradoxical demands of love.
“Love is a present activity only. The man who does not manifest love in the present has not love.” It is a difficult concept to accept – we have been socialized to believe in and grasp after the happily-ever-after future of every meaningful relationship.
What happens when love, whatever its category and classification, dissolves under the interminable forces of time and change, be it by death or by some other, more deliberate demise? In the midst of what feels like an unsurvivable loss, how do we moor ourselves to the fact that even the most beautiful, most singularly gratifying things in life are merely on loan from the universe, granted us for the time being?
Two millennia ago, the great Stoic philosopher Epictetus argued that the antidote to this gutting grief is found not in hedging ourselves against prospective loss through artificial self-protections but, when loss does come, in orienting ourselves to it and to what preceded it differently – in training ourselves not only to accept but to embrace the temporality of all things, even those we most cherish and most wish would stretch into eternity, so that when love does vanish, we are left with the irrevocable gladness that it had entered our lives at all and animated them for the time that it did.
When you are delighted with anything, be delighted as with a thing which is not one of those which cannot be taken away, but as something of such a kind, as an earthen pot is, or a glass cup, that, when it has been broken, you may remember what it was and may not be troubled What you love is nothing of your own: it has been given to you for the present, not that it should not be taken from you, nor has it been given to you for all time, but as a fig is given to you or a bunch of grapes at the appointed season of the year.
At the times when you are delighted with a thing, place before yourself the contrary appearances.
When we are able to regard what we love in such a way, Epictetus argues, its inevitable loss would leave in us not paralyzing devastation but what Abraham Lincoln would later term “a sad sweet feeling in your heart.” To retain the memory of love’s sweetness without letting the pain of parting and loss embitter it is perhaps the greatest challenge for the bereaved heart, and its greatest achievement.
Complement this particular fragment of Epictetus’s abidingly insightful Discourses with computing pioneer Alan Turing on love and loss and other great artists, scientists, and writers on how to live with loss, then revisit more of the Stoics’ timeless succor for the traumas of living: Seneca on resilience in the face of loss, the antidote to anxiety, and what it means to be a generous human being, Marcus Aurelius on living through difficult times and how to motivate yourself to rise each morning and do your work.

The orginal article.

Summary of “My Perfect Pictures and the Pain Behind Them”

“You’re a naughty girl,” he writes and says over the phone, his voice hissing like oil heated in a pan.
“You deserve to be punished. I can see you better than others can. You think you’re ‘Little Miss Perfect.’ The smile. The body. Perfect grades, too. Well, you need to make me happy then.”
Perhaps you see a lovely, young girl; I see a woman exposed, drowning in the slipstream of her husband’s shadow.
I’ve taken the world’s whippings for being born a girl as reason to believe I deserve only punishment and degradation, inflicted on myself, accepted toward myself.
Leave him, the coffin we call a home, the life of smallness I know as mine.
Initially, the news of my leaving acting and modeling to become a writer was met with resistance ranging from disbelief, worry, outrage, scorn, to laughter, from nearly every friend and relative, each unsolicited opinion preceded with the phrase we women know so well: “I love you, but”.
If all young girls and women committed such treason, patriarchy would collapse.
In addition to being a writer, I’m now a public speaker – in tonight’s performance I’ll be speaking purely as myself.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Difficult Art of Giving Space in Love”

“Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls,” the great Lebanese-American poet, philosopher, and painter Kahlil Gibran counseled in what remains the finest advice on the secret to a loving and lasting relationship.
In a letter to the trailblazing German expressionist painter Paula Modersohn-Becker, Rainer Maria Rilke offered some spectacular advice on managing the bipolar pull of autonomy and togetherness in a way that assures the longevity of any close bond and protects love from self-destruction.
The passages appear in the wonderful poetry and prose anthology Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties: Translations and Considerations, selected and translated by the scholar and philosopher John Mood.
For, if it lies in the nature of indifference and of the crowd to recognize no solitude, then love and friendship are there for the purpose of continually providing the opportunity for solitude.
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky!
Self-transformation is precisely what life is, and human relationships, which are an extract of life, are the most changeable of all, rising and falling from minute to minute, and lovers are those in whose relationship and contact no one moment resembles another.
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Complement this particular portion of the altogether beautiful and healing Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties with Anna Dostoyevskaya on the secret to a happy marriage, Virginia Woolf on what makes love last, and Kahlil Gibran on the courage to weather the uncertainties of love, then revisit Rilke on the lonely patience of creative work, what it takes to be an artist, why we read, and how hardship enlarges us.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Difficult Art of Giving Space in Love”

“Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls,” the great Lebanese-American poet, philosopher, and painter Kahlil Gibran counseled in what remains the finest advice on the secret to a loving and lasting relationship.
In a letter to the trailblazing German expressionist painter Paula Modersohn-Becker, Rainer Maria Rilke offered some spectacular advice on managing the bipolar pull of autonomy and togetherness in a way that assures the longevity of any close bond and protects love from self-destruction.
The passages appear in the wonderful poetry and prose anthology Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties: Translations and Considerations, selected and translated by the scholar and philosopher John Mood.
For, if it lies in the nature of indifference and of the crowd to recognize no solitude, then love and friendship are there for the purpose of continually providing the opportunity for solitude.
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky!
Self-transformation is precisely what life is, and human relationships, which are an extract of life, are the most changeable of all, rising and falling from minute to minute, and lovers are those in whose relationship and contact no one moment resembles another.
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Complement this particular portion of the altogether beautiful and healing Rilke on Love and Other Difficulties with Anna Dostoyevskaya on the secret to a happy marriage, Virginia Woolf on what makes love last, and Kahlil Gibran on the courage to weather the uncertainties of love, then revisit Rilke on the lonely patience of creative work, what it takes to be an artist, why we read, and how hardship enlarges us.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Kahlil Gibran on the Courage to Weather the Uncertainties of Love”

“Love is the quality of attention we pay to things,” poet J.D. McClatchy wrote in his beautiful meditation on the contrast and complementarity of love and desire.
“The alternations between love and its denial,” philosopher Martha Nussbaum observed in contemplating the difficulty of knowing ourselves, “Constitute the most essential and ubiquitous structural feature of the human heart.”
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.
If you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
Complement it with Gibran on why we make art and his stunning love letters, then revisit Adrienne Rich on how honorable relationships refine our truths, Erich Fromm on the art of loving and what is keeping us from mastering it, Leo Tolstoy on love and its paradoxical demands, and this wondrous illustrated meditation on the many meanings and manifestations of love.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Want to Fall in Love With Your Partner Again? Science Says to Ask Them These 36 Questions”

The person we often crave to feel most known by is our partner.
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it.
Ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Want to Fall in Love With Your Partner Again? Science Says to Ask Them These 36 Questions”

The person we often crave to feel most known by is our partner.
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it.
Ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

The orginal article.