Summary of “The Science Behind Happy and Healthy Relationships”

There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.
A growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples – and how to make any struggling relationship better.
As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.
“The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.
According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity.
In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right.
Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life.
“Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How To Get Over a Breakup, According to Science”

The person was asked to mull over the unfavorable aspects of their lover, like a particularly annoying habit.
In another prompt, called love reappraisal, people were told to read and believe statements of acceptance, like “It’s ok to love someone I’m not longer with.” Instead of fighting how they feel, they were told to accept their feelings of love as perfectly normal without judgment.
The researchers measured how positive or negative the people felt and how much love they felt for the ex using a scale and questionnaire.
Only people who looked at their lover in a negative light also had a decrease in feelings of love toward their ex.
Distraction, on the other hand, made people feel better overall, but had no effect on how much they still loved their ex-partner.
Love reappraisal showed no effect on either love or mood, but still dulled the emotional response to the photo.
Classifying love as a motivation is controversial in the field; other experts believe that love is an emotion, like anger, or a script, like riding a bike.
The endurance of love feelings, the complexity of these feelings and the intensity of infatuation all signal a motivation, the authors write.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Cavaliers Wasted LeBron’s Finals Masterpiece”

In the moments after the Cavaliers beat the Celtics 87-79 on Sunday to advance to the NBA Finals, LeBron James was asked about leading this collection of teammates to basketball’s biggest stage.
LeBron squeezed as hard as he possibly could in Game 1 of the Finals against the Warriors on Thursday night, dropping 51 points on a 69.2 true shooting percentage to go with eight assists and eight rebounds.
It’ll be remembered largely for the wrong reason: LeBron’s 51 points are the most a player has ever scored as part of his team’s Finals loss.
By plays being “Taken away,” LeBron is referencing both missed calls-like when James cleanly stripped Kevin Durant but was whistled for a foul-and non-calls-like when LeBron got hacked on a drive midway through the fourth quarter but the action was allowed to continue.
Love logged 21 points, but shot only 1-for-8 from deep and missed countless open shots after LeBron had drawn attention from multiple Warriors and found him in space.
A deliberate approach and a LeBron masterpiece put the Cavs in position to win until the J.R. Smith debacle happened.
So the Cavs began to run more stagnant isolations because they had nowhere else to turn, and it worked, because the Cavaliers have LeBron James.
As Smith faced the music from a scrum of reporters, LeBron sat at his locker in deep thought; he may have been wondering if the Cavaliers have any more juice left to squeeze.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Jane Fonda: ‘I’m 80! I keep pinching myself. I can’t believe it!'”

Fonda isn’t even hugely interested in Cannes these days, not like back in the day “When people wore their own clothes and went there to talk about movies”.
If Book Club is a sort of geriatric Sex and the City, then Fonda plays the Samantha character, a leopardskin-clad businesswoman who schedules sex and won’t commit.
Jane Fonda was born in 1937, the daughter of the actor Henry Fonda, and while her life was socially privileged, her home life was agony, and her mother, Frances Ford Seymour, killed herself in a psychiatric hospital.
Fonda wants to produce a new version of the film, with younger actors, who now find their work life even more precarious on zero-hours contracts.
I have to say it: Jane Fonda looks stunning, immaculately coiffed and made up, and with the poise and elegance that has always been hers.
In the States, there are still people who boycott Jane Fonda’s films because of how deeply involved she got in protesting against the Vietnam war.
Having been married several times and lived with various partners, and recently split up with her last boyfriend, the music producer Richard Perry, Fonda now lives in a gated retirement enclave with her own house, but a shared community centre with a pool and tennis courts “Where I always see one or two other residents who seem infinitely older than I am, but they probably aren’t. I never thought I would ever live there, but it’s great.”
Fonda is unimpressed by the romance in many modern films.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Pythagoras on the Purpose of Life and the Meaning of Wisdom – Brain Pickings”

The Greek polymath Pythagoras ignited the golden age of mathematics with the development of numerical logic and the discovery of his namesake theorem of geometry, which furnished the world’s first foothold toward the notion of scientific proof and has been etched into the mind of every schoolchild in the millennia since.
Alongside his revolutionary science, Pythagoras coined the word philosopher to describe himself as a “Lover of wisdom” – a love the subject of which he encapsulated in a short, insightful meditation on the uses of philosophy in human life.
According to the anecdote, recounted by Cicero four centuries later, Pythagoras attended the Olympic Games of 518 BC with Prince Leon, the esteemed ruler of Phlius.
The Prince, impressed with his guest’s wide and cross-disciplinary range of knowledge, asked Pythagoras why he lived as a “Philosopher” rather than an expert in any one of the classical arts.
Life may well be compared with these public Games for in the vast crowd assembled here some are attracted by the acquisition of gain, others are led on by the hopes and ambitions of fame and glory.
Some are influenced by the love of wealth while others are blindly led on by the mad fever for power and domination, but the finest type of man gives himself up to discovering the meaning and purpose of life itself.
This is the man I call a philosopher for although no man is completely wise in all respects, he can love wisdom as the key to nature’s secrets.
Complement with Alain de Botton on how philosophy undoes our unwisdom, then revisit other abiding mediations on the meaning and purpose of life from Epictetus, Toni Morrison, Walt Whitman, Richard Feynman, Rosa Parks, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Martha Nussbaum.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Book of LifeThe Book of Life”

The work of two University of Denver psychologists, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver, the questionnaire asked readers to identify which of three statements most closely reflected who they were in love.
I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me.
Behind the scenes, the options refer to the three main styles of relating to others first identified by the English psychologist John Bowlby, the inventor of Attachment Theory, in the 1950s and 60s. Option A signals what is known as a secure pattern of attachment, whereby love and trust come easily.
Attachment, where one longs to be intimate with others but is continuously scared of letdown and often precipitates crises in relationships through counter-productively aggressive behaviour.
If there is one thing we should do to improve our relationships, it is to know which of the three categories we predominantly belong to – and to deploy the knowledge in love, so as to warn ourselves and others of the traps we might fall into.
We then need a little training because half of us at least are not secure in love; we belong in the camps of either the avoidant or the anxious, and we have – to complicate matters – an above average propensity to fall in love with someone from the other damaged side, thereby aggravating our insecurities and defences in the process.
Their quiet might just be quiet, not a lack of love.
Knowing whether we can be classed as secure, avoidant or anxious in love should be a basic fact we grasp about ourselves.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Why The Wi-Fi ‘Beating Heart’ Emoji Means True Love”

There’s no more universal sign of love than a heart.
According to Apple, the red heart emoji was the second-most popular emoji in 2017, bested only by the crying-laugh face.
The yellow heart emoji on iPhone used to translate into a hairy monstrosity on Android, though it was fixed in a later update to the OS. Even if your heart is not lost in translation, certain hearts are rife for misinterpretation.
There is one heart emoji that communicates love so deeply and effectively that it’s shocking it isn’t more frequently used.
Since it was introduced, those who interpret the emoji as a beating heart have used it to represent life or love.
According to data Burge pulled for me from Emojipedia, the Wi-Fi heart is neither most nor least used of all the emoji hearts.
The Wi-Fi heart communicates that you love a person or thing so profoundly that you couldn’t live without it.
While the classic red emoji heart communicates a bland and generic love, the Wi-Fi heart stands for something deeper and more essential.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Challenges of Anxious-Avoidant Relationships”

There are so many ways to be unhappy in love, but one kind which modern psychology has given particular attention to are relationships, very high in number, in which one of the parties is defined as avoidant in their attachment patterns – and the other as anxious.
What makes things even more complicated and very combustible is that Avoidant and Anxious people are frequently drawn to forming couples where their varied emotional quirks contribute to an especially fraught combination.
Tragically, this avoidant party triggers every insecurity known to their anxious lover.
Under pressure to be warmer and more connected, the avoidant partner instinctively withdraws and feels overwhelmed and hounded.
Underneath their silence, the avoidant one resents feeling, as they put it, ‘controlled’; they have the impression of being got at, unfairly persecuted and disturbed by the other’s ‘neediness’.
There is an immense difference between acting out on one’s avoidant or anxious impulses – and, as would be preferable, understanding that one has them, grasping where they came from and explaining to ourselves and others why they make us do what we do.
There are few things more romantic, in the true sense, than a couple who have learnt to tell one another with wit and composure that they have been triggered in an avoidant or an anxious direction, but are doing everything they can to get on top of things – and hope to be normal again in a little while.
To help dispel the slight taboo which sometimes surrounds it, we have created a welcoming home for psychotherapy for when you feel stuck in a rut, anxious about your relationships or simply unsure about what’s going on in your life.

The orginal article.

Summary of “A True Love”

I dived into casual sex, learned for the first time in my life what casual racism feels like, what a not-quite-consensual sexual experience feels like.
It’s an unusual feeling for me to be the new person in this equation.
“Respect Erica’s agency. If she wants you to know something, she’ll either find a way to tell you or she will talk to Cory. You’re not responsible for Erica, Cory is.”
Making the feelings more potent, it’s my first real love.
How does it feel like to be in love with someone who at that any given moment might be with his girlfriend at the veterinarian’s, caring for the sick kittens they’ve adopted? Might be spending time doing anything with this woman he also loves, whom he met and loved way before he met me.
To ensure no one feels left out, we plan everything.
How does it feel to be in love with this beautiful, beautiful boy who makes me feel so beautiful and safe and loved and cared for, like no boy ever has before? Who makes me feel like he’s gently cracked me open and laid me out in the sun?
It’s a personal milestone when I realise that my affection for him doesn’t take away anything from what I feel for Cory.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Zach Lowe on Kyle Korver, Kevin Love and the Cleveland Cavaliers”

Kyle Korver had almost reached his starting position in the left corner as James whispered to Love.
Cleveland piled up 125 points per 100 possessions against Toronto in 99 minutes with LeBron, Love and Korver on the floor, and outscored the Raptors by 41 points over that time, per NBA.com.
If the cut gets Korver open, Love’s defender will often sag back to snuff the direct pass from LeBron to Korver.
Love will rush down and screen for Korver in the corner instead of waiting for him.
For the season, the Cavs have scored almost 1.1 points per possession when a Love screen for Korver leads directly to a shot, and almost 1.3 points per possession – a gigantic number near the top of the overall leaderboard – when Korver screens for Love, per Second Spectrum tracking data.
Another favorite: Love and Smith set a monster double pick for Korver, only Korver slithers in between the two screens and beelines for the rim.
Korver has imported a lot of the quirks he developed with Paul Millsap and Al Horford in Atlanta, though Love is a more willing 3-point shooter than those guys, with a quicker release.
“I asked Kevin how he’d feel if I threw him the ball and did that,” Korver recalls, “And he was like, ‘I did that with Kevin Martin all the time!'”.

The orginal article.