Summary of “Romantic Regimes”

Together, these forces lead to the establishment of what we can call romantic regimes: systems of emotional conduct that affect how we speak about how we feel, determine ‘normal’ behaviours, and establish who is eligible for love – and who is not.
Unlike all previous lovers who ran amok and acted like lost children, the new romantic hero approaches his emotions in a methodical, rational way.
One of the greatest payoffs of doing The Rules is that you grow to love only those who love you.
In the Regime of Choice, the no-man’s land of love – that minefield of unreturned calls, ambiguous emails, erased dating profiles and awkward silences – must be minimised.
According to the polemics that Kipnis develops in Against Love, the only suffering the Regime of Choice recognises is the supposedly productive strain of ‘working on a relationship’: tears shed in the couples therapist’s room, wretched attempts at conjugal sex, daily inspection of mutual needs, the disappointment of a break-up with someone who is ‘not good for you’.
From the perspective of the Regime of Choice, the heart-broken Emmas, Werthers and Annas of the 19th century are not simply inept lovers – they are psychologically illiterate, if not evolutionarily passé.
Show me almost any romantic movie and I’ll show you a desperate and needy character who treats themselves like dog shit for the sake of being in love with someone.
Illouz, a professor of sociology at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, has argued persuasively that the individualistic appeal of the Regime of Choice tends to cast the desire for commitment as ‘loving too much’ – that is, loving against one’s own self-interest.

The orginal article.

Summary of “As Companies Become Purpose-Led, Where Does That Leave Charities?”

Where does this leave charities? Does it make them redundant? No. In the words of John Low, chief executive of Charities Aid Foundation, “Almost everyone … benefits from the work of a charity, and the demand for their services and support shows no sign of abating.”
Where civil society, governments, companies, and charities all come together, we make the most progress.
Charities are often the delivery partner for much of the good work that companies want to do because they have the right skills, access, and understanding of what works.
The charity sector can teach companies to do noncommercial, nonjudgmental listening.
Charities have long understood the need to collaborate and share a vision of a better world, how to work together, and bring the necessary skills sets to the table.
So the opportunity for charities is to look for long-term goals for society and work out what is best positioned to help achieve them.
Charities should ensure they have a seat at the table for those conversations, and where they don’t, they should demand the seat or start a new table.
We need “More worthy” profit-making entities and we need more long-term, commercially thinking charities.

The orginal article.

Summary of “‘I gave away our stuff’: the minimalists doing more with less”

Georgina Caro downsized the family home, gave away three-quarters of their possessions and now thinks much more carefully about every purchase.
“If you are someone who feels a constant pressure to keep up with things, bigger house, better car, more expensive clothes, then minimalism could be that breath of fresh air which allows you to step off the consumer treadmill,” she says.
In the US, advocates such as Joshua Fields Milburn, Ryan Nicodemus and Joshua Becker explain online how they have turned their back on the pursuit of material goods, extolling the virtues of minimalism and how it enables individuals to live more intentionally and focus on the important things in life, people and experiences, rather than possessions.
“We had this fantastic big house and we were filling it with lovely things, but I could feel my anxiety levels rising. We were spending money and accumulating more and more stuff – but we didn’t need it all. It started to feel meaningless. I realised I just wanted to live a different kind of life.”
“Shopping used to be a leisure activity but now we only shop if we need something specific. When you have spent a lot of time and effort decluttering your home, the last thing you want to do is fill it with more stuff. We have a ‘one thing in, one out policy’,” she says.
“In the worst cases people might be buying things on credit or getting into debt and it could be stuff they just don’t really need,” says Hannah Robinson, financial planner at Ellis Bates in Harrogate, North Yorkshire.
“People think minimalism must mean living like a monk, with no enjoyment. But it isn’t like that at all. Minimalism is about being more considered and mindful about what you buy, stopping the compulsive or impulsive spending, which so often leads to debts and stress – and more clutter,” she says.
Colins continues: “Where there is a gap or something needs replacing I can shop to do this. It’s not about denying yourself things. It is just about being more conscious with your spending.”

The orginal article.

Summary of “4 Steps to Reset Your Goals for the Rest of the Year”

If you’re like more than half of people, those early-year goals you set were jettisoned months ago.
You still have months to make significant accomplishments toward changes you want to make by the end of the year, says career and transition coach Allison Task, author of Personalevolution: How to Be Happy, Change Your Life, and Do That Thing You’ve Always Wanted to Do. Ready to get back on track with your goals? Dust off that list and apply these four steps for a mid-year reboot.
“So much of the work of pursuing the goal happens when you set the right goal,” she says.
What feels possible and exciting versus overwhelming? The answer can give you valuable insight into the goals you can accomplish with the time you have left.
“Staying with a goal for 12 months or longer requires a ton of discipline and effort-and much of the effort happens in the second half of the year. The effort has to nearly double to reach that goal in the last six months of the year,” she says.
What, specifically, will you have to do to reach your goal and by when? What will the outcome need to be? Understanding these answers will help you scale your goal accordingly and recognize what you need to scale back.
The S.M.A.R.T. goals approach-making your goals specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time sensitive-is useful for helping you make progress within the time window you have, she says.
With businesses and other demands on her time, she says getting everything done and moving herself closer to bigger goals “Is a struggle I face and think about every day,” she says.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Find Yourself Someplace Else”

There are countless travel bloggers that have, or are, working their way around the world by car.
Really, there are countless ways to explore and find yourself in the process.
If you’re not sure what you need to find yourself, lose yourself someplace that just seems cool.
Usually “Budget travel” evokes visuals of smelly hostels and bread buttered with more bread. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Hostels are a great way to save money and extend your travels, and they’re also a solid bellwether for how expensive an area is.
Lastly, and perhaps most important, a working phone will change how you travel.
One of the easiest ways to travel for less money is by staying at hostels.
Imagine staying somewhere for $20 a night that is cleaner than your house but has a place where you can cook cheap meals? Doesn’t that sound like a different way to travel? Many hostels even have private rooms that still cost less than a hotel but give you some you space.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Things That May Help When It Comes to Making Peak-State Decisions and Investing in Yourself”

Actually, having peak experiences, or putting yourself into a peak state, should be something you do on a daily basis.
If you’re in a state of growth, you’ll need to position your life to have peak moments more frequently.
Even more - you need to set your trajectory from a peak state.
You want to be in a peak state while you make that decision.
The core purpose for having a morning routine is to put yourself into a peak state in the morning - so you can then operate from that state for the rest of your day.
Rather than being reactive, addicted, and unconscious in your morning - it’s far better to proactively put yourself in a peak state in a ritualistic manner.
You need to develop a routine of regularly getting yourself into a peak state.
You didn’t care enough to create a peak state, and then operate from that state on a daily basis.

The orginal article.

Summary of “I Was 35 When I Discovered I’m on the Autism Spectrum. Here’s How It Changed My Life.”

A Danish study published in January 2015 suggests that diagnoses of autism are more frequent because of a broadening of diagnostic criteria over the years, meaning there could be generations of people with autism spectrum disorder who were never diagnosed.
I’d pulled myself out of those spirals before they became too serious.
If a doctor told me I’d never be “Normal,” that my strangeness was something pathological, would that be the excuse I needed to turn into a complete lump?
There were all the times I’d walk away from an encounter with someone new with the overwhelming feeling I’d done something wrong and had no idea what it was.
If someone did get mad at me, I’d obsess over it, frozen in a moment of shame and self-hatred long after the other person had let it go.
Worst of all was that I couldn’t feel excited on almost any level – I’d sit through TV shows and movies like a stone.
For most of my life, I’d been afraid discovering I was on the spectrum meant I was cut off from being able to maintain friendships, professional contacts, a romantic connection.
In August 2015, Dr. P explained, slowly and with caution, that she was moving out of state to join a new practice and to be closer to family, so I’d need to change therapists, and that she’d help with the transition.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to cure your kids’ addiction to technology”

Officials from Google, Facebook and Instagram have come to consult with the person who claims to know how to create addictive technology of the kind that consumers will never want to stop using.
“Yes, it took me five years to figure out how to make that happen. The first step is to understand that you have power and not to believe the nonsense that the media is bombarding us with: that these technologies have control over us. We use those ideas as an excuse. Our children don’t behave well not because they are hooked on technology, but because we aren’t good enough parents. It’s easier for us to accept assertions that say companies and technologies hijack our children’s brains, than to contend with the fact that we allow them to spend many hours in front of screens.”
“That reminds me how a few days ago, my wife and I and our daughter went out for dinner with our neighbors and their two delightful daughters. Through the entire meal, our neighbors’ daughters were on their phones. Well, we went out for dinner with them once, but we won’t do it again. They don’t share our world of values. If their girls had hit our daughter, or if the parents had smoked at the table, I also wouldn’t go out with them again. That’s just rude behavior. A child shouldn’t be using technology during a social encounter, or at a meal, or in the middle of a class.”
Finally, in the fourth stage, we use the technology against itself.
Did you disconnect all the technology, access to email and to the social networks during the time you decided to devote to work exclusively?”.
This is the time to install a free app called SelfControl, in order to do concentrated work and to understand that during this period, you don’t want and don’t need access to distracting technology.
You talk about taking short, 45-minute breaks from technology.
What do you think about longer periods of time? I don’t use technology on Yom Kippur every year, and that’s terrific, I really enjoy it.

The orginal article.

Summary of “You Have to Nail it Before You Scale it”

The result-they don’t have as much control over their ability to scale.
Have you defined your end goal? Or are you just running as fast as you can, hoping to get traction, then deciding on the finish line? When understanding how to best scale your business, it is important to keep your end goals in mind.
If your end goal is to have a huge payday, it is likely that you will need to scale.
A company we’ve recently invested in, partially because of its ability to scale quickly with limited friction, is ClassPass, the online marketplace that connects fitness classes and gyms with consumers.
In the end, it made more sense to sell to a global company that already had the necessary infrastructure in place to scale.
If the answer is “Not a lot,” you don’t have systems in place that are ready to scale beyond you.
Is there anything I could put in place now that would make growth as scale easier?
What are other factors that have helped you to nail it before you scale it? Please share as comments.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Why You Can’t Break Your Bad Habits”

I’ve tried many different ways to break my bad habits.
We try the weirdest things to get rid of our bad habits.
What’s A Bad Habit? To me, everything we do that doesn’t have a positive return is a bad habit.
We keep sticking to our bad habits because we can’t break them.
Advice About Habits Is Misunderstood What’s the best way to form a habit? I’ve been researching that question for more than a decade.
You Need A More Extreme Approach Look, I’m not saying that replacing bad habits with good habits is bad advice.
If you truly want to break your bad habits, go extreme on yourself.
Remember this: If you want to break your bad habits, BREAK THEM ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Go all in.

The orginal article.