Summary of “On Getting Rejected a Lot”

You can be the most talented photographer, the most brilliant scientist, or the most diligent activist, and most things still won’t work out.
The more successful they are, the more rejections they’ve had-because they’re putting themselves out there, taking risks, and still moving forward.
Want a job as a trekking guide in Iceland, which would involve travel and the chance for gorgeous photos? You might as well apply, because it probably won’t work out! Want an internship with the UN or an artist’s residency in Antarctica? It probably won’t happen, but give it a go!
Spend a few hours a week looking for opportunities that would literally change your life: Jobs around the world.
Don’t spam editors or be sloppy, and respect the norms of the industry by, for example, always disclosing simultaneous submissions; you don’t want things to backfire if you do get the go-ahead. But give yourself a goal number of rejections.
If you interview for a job you’re obsessed with, figure out what it is that appeals so much.
Maybe you didn’t realize how badly you wanted to live in Montana until you got rejected from a job in Montana.
That’s how you figure out what you really want.

The orginal article.

Summary of “On Breakups”

To talk about the magic trick of pace-of suggesting a big moment only to later reveal an even bigger moment-I play the iconic video of the Who performing “Baba O’Riley.” The one you’ve maybe seen, where the intro swells and swells until it feels like it could fill an entire stadium, and you might think, How can we ever climb atop this? But then Pete Townshend tosses his tambourine, steps back from the microphone, and windmills his arm around his guitar and shakes his ass in white pants while Roger Daltrey holds a microphone to the heavens with both hands.
All of the instruments drop out for about fifteen seconds and all that remains is the layering of voices, singing out “Just know / that I want you / back” before the drums enter and the song rebuilds itself from the vocals up.
To want someone back after a breakup has been a trope of popular music for as long as I’ve been alive, and for decades before I was even a thought.
Player on “Baby Come Back,” or Toni on “Unbreak My Heart,” or countless others.
If someone has done you wrong-and I mean truly done you wrong-there can be shame in wanting that person back.
The HAIM song “Want You Back” came out in early May 2017, while I was making the post-breakup move from New Haven, Connecticut, back to Columbus, Ohio.
The music video for “Want You Back” is a single, long take, by director Jake Schreier.
As the song hits its groove, so do the Haim sisters, each of them occasionally breaking out into a small dance move or two before falling back into step.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Stop Apologizing For Being Yourself”

Because let’s face it, you and I both know that we all have two personalities, who live two different lives.
There’s the life we want to live, and then there’s the life we’re actually living.
“Hey Darius, do you think I should stop being silly so that people take me seriously?”.
Look, you’re not going to die alone when you become yourself 24/7. It’s not only a waste of energy, but it’s also a waste of LIFE, if you’re not living it on your terms.
Because what’s the alternative? Do you want to shut down your true personality and become some robot that’s programmed by society or other people?
Over the past few years, I’ve been gradually living life on my terms.
If you’re an artist, you don’t have to be like Van Gogh.You’ll get what you want when you are yourself.
I can tell you from personal experience that being yourself is the most liberating thing in life.

The orginal article.

Summary of “A Life of One’s Own”

In 1926, more than a decade before a team of Harvard psychologists commenced history’s longest and most revelatory study of human happiness and half a century before the humanistic philosopher Erich Fromm penned his classic on the art of living, the British psychoanalyst and writer Marion Milner undertook a seven-year experiment in living, aimed at unpeeling the existential rind of all we chronically mistake for fulfillment – prestige, pleasure, popularity – to reveal the succulent, pulsating core of what makes for genuine happiness.
In 1934, under the pen name Joanna Field, Milner released the results of her inquiry in A Life of One’s Own – a small, enormously insightful book, beloved by W.H. Auden and titled in homage to Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own, published three years after Milner began her existential experiment.
Finally, let no one undertake such an experiment who is not prepared to find himself more of a fool than he thought.
Not only did I find that trying to describe my experience enhanced the quality of it, but also this effort to describe had made me more observant of the small movements of the mind.
Blind thinking could make me pretend I was being true to myself when really I was only being true to an infantile fear and confusion of situations; and the more confused it was the more it would call to its aid a sense of conviction.
So I had finally come to the conclusion that my task was to become more and more aware, more and more understanding with an understanding that was not at all the same thing as intellectual comprehension.
By finding that in order to be more and more aware I had to be more and more still, I had not only come to see through my own eyes instead of at second hand, but I had also finally come to discover what was the way of escape from the imprisoning island of my own self-consciousness.
Complement the uncommonly penetrating A Life of One’s Own with Hermann Hesse on the most important habit for living with presence, E.E. Cummings on being unafraid to feel, and Maurice Sendak’s forgotten debut – a magnificent philosophical children’s book about knowing what you really want.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The California Sunday Magazine”

We’re the CEOs of a company, and my purview is to make sure I’m utterly crushing it every day at work, and I want Eraina to do the same thing at home.
I’d ask Eraina, “Do you want me to do a worksheet with Ella or work on her school packet?” “Should I prepare a snack?” I also try to put myself in Eraina’s shoes.
Working with our nanny, Ilsa, we kind of live her financial stresses.
If Chrissy has to work in the morning, she wakes up around 3:30 a.m. and leaves while Camden and I stay in bed.
It gave me some me-time, so my whole life wasn’t going to work and being a mom and housekeeper.
After our daughter was born, I got a job working at the campus bookstore, and, on weekends, I found a part-time job working with cleaners.
For a long time, I worked in a camp where migrant workers and field workers lived, and they dropped off their children when they went to work.
He’s a Cuban citizen, and we’re working on reuniting.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How To Keep Going If You Don’t Know What’s Next”

A lot of people want to start a business.
Aspiring writers start off strong and write for several days, weeks or months, and then move on to the next thing that catches their attention.
Based on my experience, and the experience of my readers, the most important thing is to keep going.
“Hi Darius, I like to read your blog. I’ve read it when I was depressed. And it changed my thoughts and perspective about my life and world. And now I want to create something for others. I started with a tiny step. It was easy at first. But after that I felt like I lacked inspiration. How do you keep going even if you don’t know what’s next?”.
Not knowing what’s next is something every person who wants to make something out of their life has to deal with.
The best thing you can do is to focus on your very next step-RIGHT NOW. What are you going to do next? Not as in, “What’s your next big move?” No, what are you going to do after you’ve read this?
That’s why you want to focus on things you control.
If people don’t want to give you their business, so what? If people don’t want to hire you, so what?

The orginal article.

Summary of “Ask Polly: My In-Laws Are Careless About My Food Allergy!”

My mother-in-law said, very rudely, “I would’ve liked to add mushrooms directly to the salad, but SOMEBODY has problems with it!” They even added mushroom powder to the mashed potatoes at one holiday dinner.
What’s worse is my husband told me that mushrooms were not a common dish served by his parents before he started dating me.
His dad said, “We can’t promise that. Everyone except your wife likes mushrooms, and we’re not changing what we eat for one person.”
So what should you do about it? I guess you could get a doctor to write a letter explaining that mushrooms have almost killed you a few times already.
Maybe the doctor could describe in graphic detail exactly what would happen to your body if you were to eat mushrooms by accident.
Have these humans ever indicated that they’re open to new information? Have they ever shown the slightest bit of curiosity about you or your challenges? They can’t seem to do a simple Google search on “Mushroom allergies,” so the mind naturally imagines the many, many other things they’re incapable of doing.
Even if they agreed never to serve mushrooms or mushroom powder, I would still be afraid to eat anything they served me.
I would still stop at Burger Doodle on my way to Thanksgiving dinner, and bring my own bottle of wine to drink, and maybe even hire someone to test every food served to me for traces of mushroom.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Biggest Wastes Of Time We Regret When We Get Older”

When I look back, my biggest time regrets aren’t spending too much time on Twitter or mismanaging my daily tasks.
Not only did I look like an arse, I could’ve also saved a fair amount of time that day by simply asking my boss what he meant.
Like a lot of people, I made some common bad decisions that wasted both my time and the time of the person I was with.
Every time the thought comes back, simply remind yourself that you have already been forgiven, so there’s no reason to feel bad anymore.
It’s easy to waste time worrying about other people, too.
Don’t get me wrong – your friends and loved ones mean a lot to you, and you want to spend time nurturing them.
Regret is another big waste of time, so there’s no point in beating yourself up over these.
The sooner you learn from them the sooner you can free up your time and energy to live the life you want.

The orginal article.

Summary of “The Crane Wife”

In my novel there were biologists doing field research about birds and I had no idea what field research actually looked like and so the scientists in my novel draft did things like shuffle around great stacks of papers and frown.
The first thing Jeff said was, “We’ll head back to camp, but I hope you don’t mind we run by the liquor store first.” I felt more optimistic about my suitability for science.
These were small things, and I told myself it was stupid to feel disappointed by them.
You look at the things it relies on to live instead. You ask if there is enough to eat and drink.
More than once I’d said to my fiancĂ©, How am I supposed to know you love me if you’re never affectionate or say nice things or say that you love me.
The thing is, we saw twenty pigs on the drive home that night.
There are ways to be wounded and ways to survive those wounds, but no one can survive denying their own needs.
It’s harder to tell the story of how I convinced myself I didn’t need what was necessary to survive.

The orginal article.

Summary of “3 mental blocks that keep you from doing what you say you want to do |”

“Defensive failure” is the term she came up with to encapsulate what occurs when we want to achieve something and we think about it constantly but we don’t do it.
Through years of action, experimentation and intense reflection upon who we are, where we came from, and who we want to be, we carve out our own identities.
“Find people like you doing things like this, and share your concerns with them,” says Crowell.
Or, as Crowell puts, “Secretly, you don’t want to do it; you just think you should want to do it. Basically, you value it for the wrong reasons.” She says that there are generally two reasons why we want things.
If you’re doing it for extrinsic reasons – you want to out-save your sister – you’re more likely to dine out, she says.
How to outsmart it: Think of your intrinsic reason – the motivation behind why you’re doing what you say you want to do – as your own personal energy source.
Crowell says, “If the work you want to do is hard, there will be urges in the moment to quit, and it is intrinsic interest that keeps you focused on the steps you need to take.”
If you feel in your heart of hearts that it is, she says, “You must draw the bright line between the thing you want to do and your long-term hopes and dreams.” After you figure out that underlying inspiration, write it down on a scrap of paper and tuck it into your wallet.

The orginal article.