Summary of “3 ways to get rid of anger, according to neuroscience”

When experimental subjects are told of an unhappy event, but then instructed to try not to feel sad about it, they end up feeling worse than people who are informed of the event, but given no instructions about how to feel.
Bereaved people who make the most effort to avoid feeling grief, research suggests, take the longest to recover from their loss.
Your ability to experience positive feelings goes down – but not negative feelings.
Here’s what’s really interesting: when you suppress your feelings, the encounter gets worse for the angry person, too.
Sharing your feelings with others constructively is a good idea but “Getting it out” tends to snowball your anger.
Accordingly, people can rid themselves from unwanted feelings by engaging in a cognitive activity, such as doing math equations, playing a game of Tetris.
In one of Ochsner’s reappraisal experiments, participants are shown a photo of people crying outside a church, which naturally makes participants feel sad. They are then asked to imagine the scene is a wedding, that people are crying tears of joy.
As opposed to bottling up, when you tell yourself “They’re having a bad day”, angry feelings plummet and good feelings increase.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Stop Managing Your Time And Start Owning it”

When you stop trying to manage your time and instead take ownership of it, it’s a whole lot easier to be productive and let go of everything you don’t want to do.
Choose wisely!You alone can take ownership of your time and decide how much time to spend on your thoughts, conversations, actions and even purposeful distractions that will lead to your success.
If 80% of your results will come from 20% of your time, imagine if you got it so right, that you only needed to work that 20%.Protect your time like a valuable investment.
Owning your time is not just about having more free time; it’s about knowing what you want and using the time you’re given productively to get there.
Reclaim your time and suddenly you’ll have a whole bunch of extra time to work on your life goals, to relax and de-stress yourself, to spend time with family and friends, to read, to improve yourself, to work on a passion project, to exercise.
Set time boxesTake those time boxes you set for yourself and now shrink them! Can you do the same task 10% faster? Maybe 20%? A little more, perhaps?
Once you break your work into focused time blocks, you can manage it for the rest of time allocated for it.
Practice saying this all-important word: “No.”Life’s too short to say yes to things, activities, events, and tasks you hate.Saying YES is driving many people insane. Stop telling yourself you can’t help it. Yes, you can. Stop wasting your time and energy. Especially if you work for yourself.You always have a choice. Choose your work and projects cautiously. Of course, It’s not always easy to know if the activity or task in question is worthy of a yes.In the words of Cole Harmonson,”It takes heart to say no when our heart and brains and guts and most important, pride are yearning to say yes, Practice.

The orginal article.

Summary of “What Happens When You Take Full Responsibility of Your Life”

Most people are too afraid to commit to anything because they already know they’re going to break their commitment.
Where decisions are made in a single moment, commitment is seeing those decisions into the future.
Most people have an incredibly weak relationship with commitment.
People break commitments to themselves all the time.
Research has found that when people commit to something, their desire to be seen as “Consistent” drives them to act according to the commitment they’ve made.
One study found that people who made a public commitment to recycle were far more likely to do so than those who didn’t make a public commitment.
You begin to see yourself based on the commitment you’ve made.
Eventually, you grow into that decision through your commitment and personal resolve.

The orginal article.

Summary of “9 Hard Things You Have to Do to Move Forward with Your Life”

Maybe it’s the life lessons I was forced to learn the hard way, or the toll of loss and failure I had recently endured, but a decade ago, in the midst of a panic attack on my 27th birthday, I had to admit to myself right then and there that the youthful world of possibility I once felt now seemed dead inside me.
You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself.
Being able to distinguish needs from wants is essential in every walk of life.
Never let go of an outcome you truly need in your life, but be reasonably flexible on the outcomes you want but could live fine without.
Constantly criticizing yourself is just as counterproductive as doing nothing, because you will never be able to build new positive changes into your life when you’re obsessively focused on your flaws.
Yes, being grateful seems simple enough, but a grateful state of mind is unbelievably hard to maintain when life disappoints us.
Thus, thinking about others instead of oneself helps solve feelings self-consciousness and inadequacy, which in turn makes you feel a lot less broken and alone when you’re struggling to move your life forward.
What else would you add to the list? What’s one hard thing you do that has helped you move your life forward? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How To Stop Being A Pushover: 5 Secrets From Research”

So let’s learn the basics about these difficult folks and then find out how to stop being a pushover when you deal with them.
The narcissist doesn’t want to give up their “Specialness” and the borderline is afraid of totally losing themselves by connecting with another person.
So what should you do if you find yourself being taken advantage of by a narcissist or borderline?
Ask people for thoughts and advice, get others on your side, and find role models who handle these situations well Just don’t expect the narcissist or borderline to see these examples and shape up.
You stop participating in the merry-go-round interactions, you stop arguing, you stop worrying what the BP/NP will do next, and you stop expecting the BP/NP to fulfill your needs.
The needs of the narcissist or borderline may have become the center of your universe.
How do you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own mind? Do you talk to yourself like you would to a friend, a loved one, or the most valued person in your life? If you are not being positive toward yourself, why not? If you find yourself criticizing yourself, calling yourself names, deriding yourself, and even emotionally punishing yourself, why are you doing this? What is your goal? These internal negative self-attacks may seem automatic, but you can learn to control and redirect them toward positive self-support with practice and vigilance.
Let’s round it up – and learn how to make new friends without gaining another borderline or narcissist in the process.

The orginal article.

Summary of “How to Increase Your Self-Confidence & Trust in Yourself”

Self-confidence is a state of being in which the thoughts you have create a belief in yourself and your capabilities.
Cultivating a relationship of trust with yourself is one of the most important things you can do.
“Self-confidence instructs others on how to think about you.” - Brooke CastilloBy the way you treat yourself, you instruct others how to treat you.
Your attitude towards yourself informs others on what kind of attitude to have towards you.
When you like yourself, treat yourself with respect and are free of judgement about yourself, you influence others to do the same.
When you trust in yourself that you are able to bounce back from sadness, disappointment, frustration, depression and any other difficult emotions, then you can enter any situation with confidence.
Do not reject yourself in order to avoid being rejected by others.
Being able to perform under pressure is one of the most effective ways to trust yourself.

The orginal article.

Summary of “12 Books That Will Improve Your Self-Knowledge”

So I’ve made a list of 12 books that have helped me to know myself.
HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself The book’s description starts with, “The path to your professional success starts with a critical look in the mirror.” I can’t agree more.
Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday This is one of my favorite books of the past year.
I Like Myself! by Karen Beaumont I usually stick to books for grown-ups.
One of my friends bought this book for his daughter a while back.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown I only recently read Brené Brown’s book.
Notes To Myself by Hugh Prather This book was recommended to me last year by a reader.
This is one of my all-time favorite books because it’s the most honest book I’ve read. As you can see, there are no books about self-knowledge or self-awareness on this list.

The orginal article.

Summary of “Ask Polly: I Moved for My Job, and It Was a Huge Mistake!”

What’s crazy about overachievers who take big risks but who are also neurotic is that we expect ourselves to FIND A SOLUTION using our minds instead of allowing our feelings to tell us what should come next.
Slowing down to feel your feelings doesn’t mean not exercising, which you know manages to keep you afloat moodwise.
You’ll get upset about something, but because you’re feeling it completely instead of pushing it away and bellowing GET BACK TO WORK, YOU FAILURE, you will be able to follow your instincts for a change.
Sensitive women who work their asses off and don’t feel their feelings enough tend to have a lot of trouble standing up for themselves in work situations.
So we’re always paranoid about being “Bitchy.” We ignore our own feelings and we try to ignore other people’s feelings, too, to compensate.
Knowing how you feel and being able to stand up for how you feel instead of defining yourself as a fuck-up and a judgmental bitch is pretty much essential to every woman, and it’s particularly essential if you want to enter middle age without constantly hating yourself for not having “Arrived” in some magical place by now.
No matter what you do next, you have to honor your feelings and give yourself more credit for working so hard to get to this point.
Not in a place or in a job, but in that good feeling inside your heart that says, “I am doing my best. I took a big risk and I floundered but I’m still trying so hard, and that’s a beautiful thing, maybe even more beautiful than sailing across some imaginary finish line.” There is promise in this false start.

The orginal article.

Summary of “5 Lessons Most People Learn Way Too Late in Life”

“What are the lessons people most often learn too late in life?” originally appeared on Quora-the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
The way you interpret and understand the world directly affects your beliefs and the way you live your life.
So how do you learn to know what you don’t know? Start by asking yourself: What don’t I know? What do you want to learn more about?
The balance of being able to take time to reflect, and to prioritize your future while spending the majority of your day in the present, is beyond valuable, it’s life changing.
Your work is a considerably large aspect in your life that you dedicate yourself to.
One of the worst things you can do for self-development is comparing yourself to other people.
Not only does that distract you from being appreciative of what you have in our own life, it doesn’t provide any productive input to yourself.
You only have one life, work as hard as you can to make it your best life.

The orginal article.

Summary of “5 Ways to Rewire Your Brain to Be Positive”

All it takes is a little training and focus, and you can rewire your brain toward the positive.
Retrain your brain to flip negatives into positives.
Even after years of subconsciously focusing on the negative, it is possible to retrain your brain to perceive and focus on the positive.
The next step is to retrain your brain to see positive patterns.
Recognize that your mind will want to slip back into old patterns, and remind yourself that you’re reconditioning yourself to have positive thoughts and take positive actions.
Once you develop the habit of pivoting toward the positive, your brain will become predisposed to doing so.4.
Use those positive feelings to channel your thinking into a positive pattern.
You are teaching your brain to sense when you are slipping into negativity and take action toward the positive.

The orginal article.